


Twenty Questions

by yellowpretendingtobered



Series: (You Drive Me) Crazy [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 20 Questions, All Dialogue, Brother and sister bonding, Even Diggle plays, F/F, F/M, Felicity plays, Fluff, Gen, I don't even know what's happening anymore, I don't know stuff happens that's cute, Love Confessions, M/M, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Penguins, Roy plays, Tommy plays, babys, hijinks ensued, i love this game, lyrics, marriage proposals, prompts filled, pure humor, so much fun, song chapters, who knows what tags are?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-12 00:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 24,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowpretendingtobered/pseuds/yellowpretendingtobered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver won't tell Thea and she's going CRAZY!</p>
<p>"I'll play you for it..."</p>
<p>"Fine. You win and I'll confirm the information, but you have to keep it to yourself. I win you give up. Are we clear on the rules?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, Oliver is in bold and Thea isn't. I made this story in all dialogue because I like story's like this. I think it's cute. Let me know if you like it!

"You seriously won't tell me?!"

**"Sorry, actually I'm not. And there is no way that you can make me tell you."**

"I'll play you for it..."

**"Fine. You win and I'll confirm the information, but you have to keep it to yourself. I win you give up. Are we clear on the rules?"**

"Crystal. As long as you understand that I'll only quit for now, on the off chance that I actually lose. Then again, I never lose."

**"Alright, shake on it"**

"1. Man or woman?"

**"Thea, really? Isn't that self-explanatory?"**

"I lost you to an island for five years. Who knows if you started pitching for the other team? Family doesn't judge, you can be honest...you spend an awful lot of

time with Diggle..."

**"No cheating. If you want to know if it’s Diggle you have to use a question. The former answer is woman."**

"Okay, we've established that you’re in love with a woman. Good progress. 2. Is she tall? 5 foot 3 and taller is considered tall."

**"Yes she’s tall"**

"Hmm interesting..."

 

**“I know, a tall woman. That must really narrow it down for you"**

"Shut up jerk! 3. Is she a brunette?"

**"Yes, yes she is"**

"okay, 4..."

**"You don't have to count out loud you know. That can be achieved in your head"**

"No! I'll lose count and you know it. That’s how you cheated your way to victory last time, don't think I forgot. Wipe that smirk off your face before I help you

take it off...now where was I?"

**"Number 5"**

" Oh that’s right. 4..."

**"Who's smirking now?"**

"4! Have you met her recently? Recently means more than 6 months less than a year"

**"No, not recently"**

"Ah-huh. The pieces are coming together big brother, you should be worried"

**"I'm quaking in my boots"**

"Good. 5. Have I met her? And I mean officially, not through the media circuit"

**"Yeah, you've met her. Are you sure you want to keep going? I can see the smoke coming from your ears as you think. You got nothin'"**

"I am deeply offended! It only squeaks when I'm thinking. Oh, and by the way, shut up, you know I love that song. Stop playing dirty!" 

**"It’s my job to play dirty, I'm older"**

"Well I'm almost ready to wrap this turkey up...that didn't make any sense. Moving on 6. Did she grow up in Starling City?"

**"Nope"**

"7. Does she have a real job? I'll clarify, one where she doesn't just stand around looking pretty"

**"Yes, she does more than stand around looking pretty. Sometimes she looks pretty sitting down...OW! No need for violence Thea, where'd you grow up in a**

**boxing ring?"**

 

"Roy's been teaching me how to defend myself. Pretty good huh?"

**"Regular Mohammed Ali"**

"Well I promise not to bite your ear off, so there’s that. 8. Was it love at first sight?"

**"How is that relevant?"**

"It’s my question to do with as I please. Although if you want to forfeit..."

**"No, unfortunately, it wasn't love at first sight"**

 

"Why not?"

**"That’s not a yes or no question...alright with the puppy dog eyes, I invented those you know. I just wasn't ready then"**

"Nice answer. The judges accept. 9. If you could be with anyone in the world, dead, alive, zombie...would you still pick her?"

**"Well I mean if I could be with a zombie instead...OW! Again! Yes, of course. I'll always pick her"**

"You know under all the muscle you’re squishy"

**"Well not many people get to see it, but I kind of like you, so. Got any leads yet Nancy Drew?"**

"One more question, then I'll enter my final answer"

**"Only ten questions? That’s pretty bold, Thea. Are you sure?"**

"10. Do you think she could turn out to be the one?"

**[...]**

**"Yeah, I really do"**

"That’s all that I needed to hear"

 

**"Really. Got me all figured out have you? Let’s hear it"**

"I was debating making you answer more, but I only use my powers for the forces of good. I know exactly who it is...you’re in love with Felicity"

**"Wait, I don't understand...how did you know it was Felicity?"**

"Well your answers definitely helped, but all of the questions I asked were ventured around stuff that I knew about her. She’s 5 foot 3, she grew up out west away

from the city, she has an actual job because she’s super smart, and here’s the kicker... I bumped into her at the store and caught her buying hair dye. She let

me in on the secret that she’s a closet brunette. Eat that!"

**"So why the other questions?"**

"I personally really like Felicity. I just wanted to be sure. I've seen you two together, when she was attacked at the office and you came back to the court house I

remember thinking that whatever had happened must have been terrible because anything that can shake you up that bad must have be horrific"

**[...]**

**"I never stopped missing you on that island. I love you speedy...promise never to change"**

"You know I can't do that. But I love you too Ollie. Now go get your girl! Don't you have work or some other lame excuse to go see her?"

**"As a matter of fact I do. See later speedy"**

 


	2. Twenty Questions-Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Oliver's turn to ask the questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I literally just wrote this in a fit of insomnia. Your welcome...or not. Sorry if it sucks. I just couldn't stop my fingers from doing the talking, you know? This was a prompt from Murgy 31. I wasn't planning on doing another chapter but this one is a lot of fun to write. So I hope you enjoy it. Let me know.
> 
> I wrote this on my phone so I couldn't bold or anything like that. If there is an asterick in front its Thea speaking.
> 
> UPDATE 08/12/17: Changed the dialogue format to match later chapters. Their name indicates their dialogue.

Thea: Oh my god! Just drop it!

Oliver: How can I 'just drop it'? I know something is going on. You're not acting like yourself

Thea: Yeah? And how is that?

Oliver: Thea, come on...I'll play you for it...

Thea: Some people have work to do Ollie, I can't sit around and play games all day. Or make out with Felicity in my office. I have actual work

Oliver: I'm offended! Felicity works hard when we're not making out in my office! Now, please?

[...]

Thea: Ugh! Fine! If you can guess it I'll tell you

Oliver: Okay. Deal. Shake?

Thea: Shake. Now ask your first question before I change my mind

Oliver: Does this have to do with Mom or the campaign?

Thea: No, its not about her

Oliver: Are you sure? I know you were excited to have Walter back. Even if its just for the campaign

Thea: I know. But its nothing to do with her

Oliver: Hmm. 2. Is it something Roy did?

Thea: Yes. But don't get all big brother! I'm partially to blame, I guess. Takes two to tango and all that jazz

Oliver: I'll hold off on ordering the hit then

Thea: Wait. Order the hit? You don't love me enough to do the deed yourself?

Oliver: I'm a busy man, Thea. I wouldn't have time to pick out a big enough rug for that sort of thing. I'd have Mr. Diggle do it

[...]

Oliver: Ow! God...why are you always hitting me?! That's it, I'm ordering the hit just for him teaching you to punch me

Thea: Get serious, before I order your hit. Or maybe we'll just go for a boat ride and you'll mysteriously disappear?...Too soon?

Oliver: No, its alright. I'll just take Roy out back and show him how my gun works...now number 3. Is it a fight with Roy that's been making you act weird?

Thea: No. We aren't fighting

Oliver: Oh. Huh. 4. Does it have to do with why you are more frequently excusing yourself to use the bathroom?  
Thea: I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were counting the frequency of my bathroom trips. I'll try to be more accomidating... Alright with the bitch face, you remind me of Sam. It may...

Oliver: So, translation: yes?

Thea: God, Ollie. Yes! It has to do with me peeing a lot

Oliver: 5. Who's Sam?

Thea: Really? Are you serious right now?...Well that is not a yes or no question

Oliver: Ugh. Fine. 5...

Thea: Woah! Hold on there partner, you just wasted number 5 inquiring after Sam. So, number 6?

Oliver: If I loved you less, I would point out the fact that you're cheating right now, but...Number 6. Does it have to do with why you don't have an appetite anymore?

Thea: I eat plenty. You just don't see me all the time big brother

Oliver: Wipe that look off your face. I saw you pass down ice cream yesterday! That means that either you're comatose and didn't realize what you'd said no to, or something is deeply wrong. Since you seem pretty lucid right now...

Thea: You've made your point, now get your hand away from my face. I'm not comatose

Oliver: 7. Have you been to the doctor for this stuff?

Thea: Yeah, I have

Oliver: Okay, last question

Thea: Its only been 7! You're really capping it at eight? That's just cocky. Well, your middle name is narcesism...

Oliver: I thought it was Jonas!? My life is a lie!

Thea: Drama Queen...oh there's the smirk I've missed so much

Oliver: Number 8. Boy or girl?

Thea: I believe the term is man or woman. You're losing your touch Ollie

Oliver: Don't try to deny it. Are you having a boy or girl?

Thea: The doctor says its still too soon to tell...I haven't told anyone. Roy doesn't even know yet. I can't figure out how to tell him

Oliver: Want me to do it? I promise to behave myself

Thea: You'd do that for me Ollie?!

Oliver: There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you Thea. Even have to live with Roy for the rest of our lives

Thea: Oh here he comes. Wow...he's early to work for once

Oliver: I'll handle this Thea...HEY ROY! WANT TO PLAY A GAME?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun! Well, for me at least. Let me know what you think and if anyone else has a prompt they'd like to see just leave a comment. I'll do my best!


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver plays with Roy, but he's such a baby. (Heh...get it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one came from a prompt by Whoseeswhatsyetunseen. My classes were cancelled and there is a blizzard outside my door. I almost died taking out the trash just now. They wouldn't have found my body under all the snow until April, that would be weird...and smelly. Anywho, hope you enjoy this. Its not a hundred percent what I wanted, but that's how it turned out.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes that you see. I wrote this on my phone so, if the *is in front its Thea. If not Oliver. If it has ',' instead of "," then its Roy speaking.
> 
> UPDATE 08/12/17: Changed dialogue format to match fugue chapters.

Oliver: Hey Roy. How've you been?

Roy: Um, I'm fine. A little sore from all the extra BOXING PRACTICE I've been getting in

Oliver: Good, good

Roy: Whats this about a game? Is it "to the death?"'

Thea: Roy! I'm right here, I'll protect you from the scary man. If I even see him texting the order I'll tackle him to the ground and you run! We'll meet again in Zihjataneo!

Oliver: Thea, be serious. I'm three times your size. You couldn't pin me if you wanted to

Thea: Wanna bet?!

Oliver: Thea! See not even a dent

Thea: Baby, you're a brick wall

Oliver: Don't you know it. Now, Roy. I'm thinking of something and you have to guess what it is. You get twenty yes or no questions. Go

Roy: Uh, okay. Sure. 1. Does it involve...Felicity?

Oliver: No...

Roy: Your Mom?

Oliver: No...

Roy: Are you sure? The campaign looks like its stressful for everyone

Oliver: What'd I say, Thea?

Thea: Alright, but that wasn't mine either

Oliver: Well, its nothing to do with my mother. Next question

Roy: Guys, do we have to do this? This is weird right?

Thea: No! Ollie and I have been playing this since I could talk. Trust me. You want to know what he's thinking, well I hope that you do. But you don't have to, I mean the whole thing...

Roy: Alright, I'll finish. If you think I'll like it I probably will

Oliver: Although, I'm cutting off your bonding time with Felicity. You're starting to catch the ramble

Thea: Do it and I'll personally shop for your rug myself

Roy: You guys are so weird. You understand that nothing you say makes any sense right?

Oliver: Next question Roy

Roy: Okay. Uhm what is this 3? Is it something to do with Thea?

Oliver: Yes, good for you Roy

Roy: Ignoring that comment. Is she...oh god its not your birthday!?

Thea: No! You don't know my birthday?

Roy: I know when your birthday is...I just panicked

Oliver: Suuure. So next?

Roy: 4. Is it me? Did I do something wrong? Or right?

Oliver: No cheating Roy. Yes or no questions only. So Yes its about you too. No you didn't do anything wrong. No you didn't do anything right, either

Roy: This is hard. Uh, 5...

Oliver: You're up to number 7

Roy: Right. 7...I really don't want to do this. Don't make me...

Thea: For the love of..., man up Roy. Just play

Oliver: Here I'll give you a hint. Ready...I'm going to spoil them rotten. Because I'm the most caring Uncle in the world

Roy: Yeah, your suuuper terrific...wait. Uncle? You're pregnant?!

Thea: Heh...surprise?

Oliver: Sweet mother of Jesus stop! You already have a bun in the oven...and now you've ruined buns for me...I'm leaving. Expect a very excited blonde in about forty minutes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was alright. Let me know if anyone else wants a chapter. I will try my best! Also let me know what you thought of this one.


	4. Its a yes or no question, Miss Smoak.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Valentines Day. Need I say more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for Madlenita, who wanted to see one with Felicity. This is also dedicated to making me feel better because I had to buy my own chocolate today and deliver other peoples flowers. Sigh. 
> 
> Once again, written on my phone. So, Felicity's speech has a £ symbol in front. I was debating the British pound and the Euro, I made the better investment if you catch my drift.
> 
> UPDATE 08/12/17: Changed dialogue to reflect future chapters.

Felicity: Oh my god. You're nervous! The infamous 'lock up your daughters here comes suave Oliver Queen' is nervous

Oliver: I don't know what you're talking about...so...who would be your freebe?

Felicity: Excuse me? Nice subject change, I'll bite. What's a freebe?

Oliver: I still don't know what you're talking about, but you're freebe is one person that you can sleep with while we're in our relationship

Felicity: Who's yours?

Oliver: I asked you first

Felicity: I don't want to tell you! What if you arrow him?

Oliver: Cross my heart, I wont arrow him

Felicity: No!

Oliver: Fine. How about we play twenty questions for it? If I guess it right then you tell me?

[...]

Felicity: I relent. If you guess it correctly you can't arrow him

Oliver: Deal! Okay, first question: man or woman?

Felicity: Man...although Kiera Knightly is strikingly beautiful...oh, stop drooling

Oliver: Sorry, I spaced out for a minute. Alright, this is like Burger King; you can have it your way. 2. Is he tall...(er) than me?

Felicity: No, he's maybe a smidgen shorter

Oliver: Short guy? Really? 3. Is he blonde?

Felicity: No

Oliver: Brunette?

Felicity: No

Oliver: Black-ish hair?

Felicity: Yup

Oliver: Huh, okay. Is he famous?

Felicity: Yes, yes he is

Oliver: Uh, shorter than me, black hair, famous...short hair?

Felicity: Yeah. I don't like long hair on a guy. Personal preference

Oliver: Remind me not to show you younger pictures of me

Felicity: Duly noted. Seven down Mister Queen. Next?

Oliver: Taking off the kiddie gloves now. Get ready for it

Felicity: Oh, I'm ready

Oliver: Good. Is he in movies?

Felicity: Yes

Oliver: On tv?

Felicity: Yes

Oliver: Its not Padalecki, because he's taller than me. And its not Jensen because he's brunette

Felicity: I'm impressed. You remembered my favorite boys. After you and Dig of course!

Oliver: Mhm, of course. Is it that other one? The...uhm...damn! What was his name...?

Felicity: Black hair, blue eyes, trench coat? That's Castiel

Oliver: Yes! Is it him?

Felicity: No! Shit! I should've gone with Misha!

Oliver: Misha? That's the guys name? Ouch

Felicity: Don't pity him, he's gorgeous

Oliver: Moving on before I put an arrow through the entire cast of Supernatural. Is it anyone named Colin?

Felicity: No, but that's a good choice too. After all Colin Donell is smokin'

Oliver: Wow. How am I with you?

Felicity: You know you love it

Oliver: Yeah, I do

Felicity: *ahem* Moving on now. What's next, 'Oh master of the questions'?

Oliver: Is he...oh! That guy from the river? You know the director of the tv show they were filming?

Felicity: Paul Blackthorne? No. Sadly not

Oliver: Damn!

Felicity: That makes twelve now, Mister Queen. Would you like to continue the humiliation?

Oliver: Guess you haven't heard I don't give up easily?

Felicity: In that case, onward and upward!

Oliver: Is it the guy from Fringe that you fawn over? What's his name...

Felicity: You mean Lincoln? Nope

Oliver: Oh shit! I just remembered he's blonde!

Felicity: Hah! You suck at this!

Oliver: I do not! This is how I got Thea's pregnancy out of her

Felicity: Sure. That's what they all say

Oliver: Who else would say that?

Felicity: Not the point! You know it was a verbal hyperbole!

Oliver: You're just lucky I know what a 'hyperbole' is. How about...Ben Bass?

Felicity: Nope! Wow, looking back I might watch a little too much television to love all of these peoples characters

Oliver: Maybe just a scoche. Oh! Is it that guy from Chuck? You know the short best friend?

Felicity: Not Morgan

Oliver: Lester?

Felicity: What?! Who do you take me for?

Oliver: A girl who swore Jeffster sounded fine...

Felicity: I thought we moved past that. Maybe I should stop showing you things you missed if you just throw them in my face

Oliver: No, I love Sundays with you. We literally don't get up unless we need to change the discs

Felicity: Damn straight!

Oliver: What about John Cusack?

Felicity: Ew! He's more like a father figure than a potential whatever this is we're talking about

Oliver: A one night stand

Felicity: Yeah. Although if I did have a hot tub time machine, that'd be pretty cool

Oliver: Yeah, it would. Milo Ventimiglia?

Felicity: You watch a guy eat mac and cheese on youtube one time...

Oliver: You also watched him brush his teeth on youtube

Felicity: Yes, I did

Oliver: You seem a little too happy with yourself about that. Just saying. Is it David...whatever Burkheardt's real last name is?

Felicity: No, not Nick

Oliver: Monroe?

Felicity: You're not even trying anymore. No it isn't Monroe. Last question Mister Queen

[...]

Oliver: Will you marry me?

Felicity: Excuse me?

Oliver: Its a yes or no question Miss Smoak

[...]

Felicity: YES!

Oliver: (Between kisses) So...who do I have to Arrow?

Felicity: Jesse Bradford. He's the perfect man

Oliver: Wait. HE'S the perfect man? What about me?

Felicity: Oh, Oliver. You're nowhere near perfect. And that's how I like you

Oliver: Thank god, you answered yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write these on an asked basis. If no one asks for another chapter, I wont write one. Just FYI. Thanks for reading! Hope you had a good V day!


	5. You give me fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fever when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight... Thea and Felicity play a round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the summary but I love when Buble sings Fever. He's got a voice like silk. I could drown in it, its so beautiful. I hope you like this chapter. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Let me know, okay?
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to -J who wanted to see an estatic Thea finding out about the wedding engagement. I hope its worthy.
> 
> All mistakes are mine. Sorry if you see any. My bad. Hopefully you guys remember the dialogue drill.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who continues to read this. I love the Arrow community so absolutely. In my opinion you're the best readers out there.
> 
> UPDATE 08/12/17: Changed dialogue format to match future chapters.

Thea: Are you sick?

Felicity: (Nods head and points to neck.)

Thea: You poor thing! What's wrong?

Felicity: (Looks around for something to write on but shrugs when she can't find anything.)

Thea: Right. You pulled a Little Mermaid. Hm. I know! I'll guess what's wrong! We'll do twenty questions, okay?

Felicity: (Nods yes.)

Thea: Excellent...sorry. I love to do the Mr. Burns hand wringing. Okay! First, do you have a fever?

Felicity: (Shakes no.)

Thea: Are you cold then?

Felicity: (Shakes no.)

Thea: No temperature change at all?

Felicity: (Shakes no.)

Thea: Huh, that's weird. You usually have some fluctuation in temp when you're this sick. One time I had strep, but I didn't realize it for two days. I ended up having Scarlet fever and giving the doctor a peep show because he pulled down my top. It was strictly for 'medical reasons' though

Felicity: (Chuckles, shaking her head. Motions with her hand to continue.)

Thea: Um...loss of appetite?

Felicity: (Shakes no.)

Thea: What the hell could you have? I also lost my appetite when I had Scarlet fever. Yeah, I know, stop bringing it up. But it sounds so exotic. 'Yes, I came down with a case of scarlet fever...' just makes me want to wear a flapper outfit and pretend faint. Moving on now. Is it contagious?

Felicity: (Smirkingly nods her head.)

Thea: And you let me near you! What if I catch the contagion!? Oh god, Claire Danes died in that movie! Well I guess it would be pointless to cover my mouth with my hand now, I've been exposed. Did Ollie give it to you?

Felicity: (Nods yes.)

Thea: Ew. You don't have to look so happy about it. That's gross. You two make out everywhere...ugh! Wait. It isn't an STD is it?

Felicity: (Eyes bulging, shakes no.)

Thea: Thank god. Then you'd have to dump him and I'd be forced to choose your side in the breakup. I'm going to be honest, I really have no idea what it could be. Give me a hint?

Oliver: She has wedding fever

Felicity: (Turns to look at Oliver then back to Thea smiling broadly.)

Thea: Get out! Who's wedding? A sisters?

Felicity: (Smiling wide, shakes head no.)

Thea: NO! GET OUT OF TOWN! YOURE SHITTING ME!

Oliver: Thea there's no need for profanity. This is Felicity and my place of business, so stop jumping up and down. Felicity has agreed to marry me and spent the whole night screaming on the phone with her family

Thea: Ahh! Now she has to scream with me! I'm so happy you have no idea! We have to start planning right now. I personally like winter weddings but you seem like a fall kind of gal...

Oliver: Thea! I think you're breaking her. If she could speak she'd ask you to let her go before she runs out of oxygen

Thea: He knows you so well! That's exactly what you would say! She's taking the rest of the day off to plan with her favorite sister in law! Later Ollie!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And don't forget that I write these on a asked basis. If you don't ask, I don't write. Even writers need some inspirational aide.


	6. Whats the craziest thing youve ever done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang hangs out in the foundry and chill out. Until they head to the zoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that all of you ROCK! You rock so hard you're igneous! I love all of the comments, hits, and bookmarks. You're really fantastic.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Whoseeswhatsyetunseen who wanted to see the boys try to get info from Felicity...crazy info.
> 
> You guys know the dialogue drill by now, right? Regular quotes are Oliver, £ british pound is Felicity. Knew members are € the euro is Dig and weird arrow things «» are Tommy. Have fun!

«Those twins that night of the beach party in Paris»

"No, Tommy. I don't think she meant the craziest person you've done"

«No need to he crude Oliver! I meant those twins in Paris who made me go trout fishing instead of becoming the craziest people I've ever done. They lead me to the boat with the same premise, 'Whats the craziest thing you've ever done?' Then they took me trout fishing! Not what I thought they were leading up to»

€"That is crazy. Did you catch any though?"

«Who do you think you're talking to? Of course I caught one! I'm like the most interesting man in the world. You know the guy in the commercials drinking with the tiger..»

£"I don't always drink but when I do..."

«Just the blonde I wanted to see! Come join the party!»

£"I didn't realize that this was a party cave. As soon as we got engaged the foundry became a man cave?"

€"Come on Felicity. We all know it was a man cave before any of us arrived"

£"I was in denial! Thank you very much for bursting my bubble"

"Did you want to live in a bubble?"

£"It worked for Jake Gillenhall. So what are we talking about; the most interesting man in the world?"

«Whats the craziest thing you've ever done?»

£"Uhm...ohh! I know it was..."

«Wait! I want to guess what it was!»

"Are you playing for stakes? Felicity is the best around at twenty questions...after Thea"

«Dont let him say such things about you. How about if I can guess it before twenty questions is up, you have to break into the zoo and pet a penguin!»

£"So, if you can guess the craziest thing I've ever done you become the craziest thing I've ever done?"

«Again vulgarity! The Merlyn package is not scheduled for a delivery tonight, sorry»

€"I don't think anyone wants to accept that delivery. No offense"

«Too late. Offense taken. Its alright, I know you love me Dig»

£"Deal. Ask away Merlyn"

«Does it involve alcohol»

£"Fraid so"

«Excellent. Does it have to do with kissing another lady?»

£"Bet you wish the answer was yes. But its a no"

«Youre right. That does upset me. Oh well, next. Is there a video of whatever it was?"

£"Nope"

"Were there other people with you?"

£"Really Oliver? You're going to help him?"

"I know how much you love penguins. In actuallity I'm helping you..."

£"Sure, you are. Yes. There were other people there"

«Were you all...fully clothed?»

£"No, we were not"

€"Were you on vacation?"

£"Gasp! Et tu, Dig?"

€"Sorry, but I really want to see you break in to pet a penguin"

£"Ugh. Yes we were on vacation"

«How many was that? I think I know»

"Its only been six questions. Are you sure you want to risk it?"

«Yeah! Okay, I don't want you changing your answer because you don't want to pet a penguin. So write it down on something and hand it to Dig»

£"Fine. Here you are my good man"

€"Thank you, mi'lady"

«Is the answer Skinny dipped in a group while drunk?»

€"That is indeed the gist of it"

£"SHIT!"

«Suit up, Lis! Looks like you've got a mission. And you get to go for another swim!»

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! Leave a comment and suggestion if you want more. See you next time.


	7. I hate you, Tommy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at that little one! He's saying 'come touch me Felicity!'
> 
> I'm horrified for you, Felicity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. This chapter is dedicated to AinsleyWright on Fanfiction.net where I also post some stories. She asked me to write the chapter where they actually go and break into the Zoo. So, I did. Let me know what you think.
> 
> I didn't proofread it for mistakes so I'm sorry for any grammatical errors.
> 
> The dialogue is the same because I write them on my phone. For anyone new here it is:  
> £ Felicity  
> € Diggle  
> " Oliver  
> « Tommy
> 
> ★ that's a random security guard

£I hate you Tommy!

«SHH! People will hear you! Just cut the links, its not that hard. Rosey the Riveter would be soooo disappointed in you...

£Forgive me, I left my bandana at home tonight.

«Right next to your muscles apparently.

€You gonna let him talk to your lady like that?

"If you know what's good for you don't call her that. She'll kick all our asses. One time I tried to stick up for her and she made me sleep on the couch for a week."

«There you go Lis! Get that next one too! 

£I think you're a little too excited.

«I think you're not excited enough. Ahh! Duck!

£Tommy get your hand off my mouth and you're body off of mine! You're crushing me!

«Thats all muscle. Its too late Lis, had you not said yes to Ollie this could all be yours.

£I'll pass.

"Tommy! What the hell! Why're you on top of my fiancé?"

«There was a guard coming. I heard footsteps.

€Pretty sure that was us. You should probably get off the Arrow's fiancé now.

£Alright, ladies lets get this tea party over so I can go home to my babies.

"What about me?"

£You were grouped in there.

«She just winked at you. I see who wears the pants in this relationship.

 

£Okay. I'm climbing in there and touching the first one that I see. Plan?

«No! I want to pick it! Look at that little one right there. Look he's screaming 'touch me Felicity'.

€Its okay Felicity. I'm horrified for you.

"I think you broke her"

«Yeah, it wasn't meant to sound like that. Okay, get in there and pet yourself a penguin!

£Ahh! Tommy, you know I love you. But right now you are so far up on my hack list that I'll only warn you one time. Touch my ass again and I'll sever your arms. Then I'll burn them in the in the bon fire that I start with all of your money. 'Kay?

«'Kay...is it wrong to find you more attractive now?

£YES!

"YES!"

€YES!

«Okay. Jeez. Don't have a coniption...word of the day calendar.

€Oh. I thought that word was a little too big for you.

«Dig, its getting harder for me to remember you love me when you say things like that. [...] Oh, shit...

£Ahhh!

€You're a dead man, Merlyn.

«I know. But watching her slip on a rock and fall in was totally worth it. Look! She keeps slipping...

"Want me to come help you? Wait! Watch that patch right there"

£I swear to god Oliver. Don't make me want to divorce you already...come here precious...I just want to pet you...there we go cutie...

€She's good at that.

"Yeah. You should see her with her cousin Jeremy. He's only five and he's putty in her hands"

«Careful she might start milking you for a bun in the oven...I'm not sure that made sense but I'm sticking to the statement.

€Thats true. Have you guys talked about kids yet?

"We'll figure it out."

«Thats a no. You should get on that. I mean the conversation...not your wife.

"Thanks I got that."

«Just clarifying.

£Yes! I did it! In your face!! 

★ HEY!? WHO'S OVER THERE? 

£Crap! Its the fuzz! Quick come rescue your damsel.

"Oh, now you're a damsel?"

«Everyman for himself! And Felicity!

€You're on your own.

£Shut up and help me out.

"Alright, grab my hand. Have I told you today how much I love you?"

£Not recently.

"Remind me to tell you later. When we've evaded the police."

£Bet its weird for you to be running from the cops in regular clothes.

"No, I'm friends with Tommy, so I'm used to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you had lots of fun! If you want more don't forget to drop a comment letting me know what you'd like. Have a great day! Thanks for reading!


	8. Baby one more time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My lonliness is killing me (and I) I must confess I still believe (still believe)...
> 
> Felicity and Thea have a talk when Thea finds Felicity crying in the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I posted another! I've been feeling gloomy and writing these is great. I changed the format a smidgen. This way is probably better.
> 
> Top 5 90's songs :
> 
> 5\. Baby one more time- Brittany Spears
> 
> 4\. Beautiful- Christina Aguilara (spelled her name wrong... Oops)
> 
> 3\. Genie in a bottle- Christina Aguilara
> 
> 2\. Painter- O-town
> 
> 1\. Bye bye bye- N'sync
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't intend any infringement of any kind.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

Thea: What did he do to you? I'll kill him! 

Felicity: Nothing. He didn't do anything. Well...I mean...

Thea: Felicity, you're crying. Tell me what happened.

Felicity: I can't.

Thea: Sure you can. Come on, I don't judge.

Felicity: No, Thea. I can't physically say it. I can barely believe it.

Thea: What if I guess?

Felicity: Okay...

Thea: Is it the about the flowers for the wedding? I knew Lillie's would give the wrong message.

Felicity: No. Its not the flowers.

Thea: The cake?

Felicity: No.

Thea: The venue? We're rich and he's the story of the century: Notorious Playboy Finally Ties the Knot! You could probably have it in Buckingham Palace if that's what you wanted.

Felicity: No. I already had some ideas for a venue.

Thea: Is it about the wedding at all?

Felicity: No.

Thea: But it has something to do with Ollie?

Felicity: Yes. And I can't decide how I feel.

Thea: He didn't cheat on you, did he?! I'll kick his ass so hard I'll lose my foot.

Felicity: As much as I'm willing to let you try that, he didn't cheat on me. I'd kill him if he did.

Thea: I'm not sure what I'd do if Roy ever cheated on me...

Felicity: Probably run him down with a monster truck. I had a great friend in school. She told me if anyone ever hurt me she'd beat them in a sparkly dress and heels.

Thea: Hah! Sounds like my kind of woman.

Felicity: Yeah. Too bad she turned down my marriage proposal...

Thea: Ouch. Lucky for Ollie though.

Felicity: I guess. Okay, next question?

Thea: Right. Uhm...forget your birthday?

Felicity: No.

Thea: Anniversary?

Felicity: No.

Thea: Shoot! What the hell could...

Felicity: What? What's with the giant gasp?

Thea: shnfmdihbdnmmamdm

Felicity: I can't understand what you're saying. Move your hand away from your mouth.

Thea: I said: Oh my fucking god, are you pregnant?!

Felicity: ...

Thea: Holy shit! You are! How long have you known?!

Felicity: I just got back from the doctor. He told me that he's positive that I'm positive. 

Thea: That's what mine said! Maybe they all use that line. Why're you crying then? Isn't this a 'positive' thing?

Felicity: I don't know how Oliver is going to feel. We've never had the baby conversation. I'm sure he'll be happy...right? 

Thea: Of course he will. I'm sure of it. Is that the only thing troubling you about it?

Felicity: No. What if someone tries to take it away from me? You hear all the time that children are kidnapped. And especially since its father is...

Thea: Is what? 

Felicity: A Queen...his father is rich...what'll happen to him if someone wants ransom?

Thea: Don't worry. We'll keep each other safe. You're not the only one with a cinnabon in the oven.

Felicity: Ah! Our babies will only be a month apart. Oh, that's so cute. But...

Thea: What?

Felicity: How will I tell Oliver?

Thea: Want me to tell him like he told Roy?

Felicity: Would you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Let me know if you want more.


	9. Ollie Ollie oxen free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Starlingkingandqueen: Sorry it took so long darling. But this one is for you! You wanted Sarah and Tommy so hopefully its good enough. (The ending is my favorite part)

Oliver: What is so important that you had to jimmie the lock on the door?! I'm in the shower Thea!

Thea: Like I've never seen you naked. Everyone and their grandmother has seen your birthday suit on the news.

Oliver: What is it Thea? What will it take to make you leave?

Thea: Play a game with me.

Oliver: You're out of luck if you wanted to play hopscotch. I'm a little indisposed at the moment.

Thea: Towel off and play a round of twenty questions with me. Trust me; you want to know what I'm thinking.

Oliver: Well, with a wink like that how could I say no. Can I finish my shower now?

Thea: You may finish and then come down to the kitchen! (her voice fades out as she leaves the room) This is going to be great!

Oliver: (to himself) Can't wait...

IN THE KITCHEN

Thea: ...it's a secret, though. 

Oliver: Is this a party now?

Tommy: Thea texted me and now I'm enraptured.

Sarah: I'm here because I live here now...and I was hungry.

Oliver: Alright then. Can we start this please?

Thea: You may begin.

Oliver: Thanks for your permission. 1. Is it about Roy?

Thea: No.

Oliver: About Mom?

Thea: Negative.

Oliver: Ugh! I'm starting to hate this game...

Sarah: What?! This is my favorite game! Here, I'll help you.

Tommy: I want to play too!

Thea: Sarah; yes. Tommy; no.

Tommy: Oh, come on! I promise to be good.

Thea: The puppy eyes won't work Merlyn. You already know what I'm thinking. You'd give it away.

Tommy: Fine...

Sarah: Is it about the club?

Thea: Nope.

Oliver: Timmy stuck in the well?!

Thea: Yes! And I pushed him there because he didn't take my game seriously!

Sarah: Is it about a man?

Thea: In a manner of speaking, yes.

Tommy: Its about a man's...Ow!

Oliver: My baby sister is in the room. Keep it PG.

Tommy: Your baby sister is also my theoretical baby sister and she is very pregnant right now. I think she's been bumped up to NC-17.

Thea: Please. I've seen triple X.

Oliver, Tommy, and Sarah: Thea!

Thea: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. Now, next question before I start telling you how babies are born; "Miracle of Life" style.

Oliver: Is it about a woman and man?

Thea: On the nose!

Sarah: So you're thinking about a couple?

Thea: That sounded more like a statement but yes.

Oliver: You and Roy?

Thea: No.

Oliver: Charles and Diana?!

Thea: What? Princess Diana died. What's wrong with you?

Tommy: So much. They could fill a warehouse with books about the things that are wrong with Oliver Queen.

Oliver: And the first entry would be about snakes. Ugh. Why are they not extinct? They freak me out.

Thea: You're honestly the weirdest person I've ever met. Well, aside from the Arrow, I guess. Don't get me wrong. I think he's great, but what kind of person wears all that leather?

Tommy: (snickering) I don't know who in their right mind would wear so much.

Oliver: I bet its good for climbing...and...stuff.

Sarah: I think he looks great. Anyway, is it about Oliver?

Thea: Bingo!

Oliver: About me and Felicity? Did I do something wrong?

Thea: Yes and...no. You certainly didn't do it right.

Sarah: For the wedding?

Thea: Nope.

Sarah: I feel like this is getting into the NC-17 rating...

Thea: You wouldn't be incorrect. But I'll keep it PG.

Oliver: Its not...she's not...is she...?

Thea: None of that made sense. Here...

Oliver: What are you doing on your phone?

Thea: Setting a timer.

Oliver: What for?

Thea: You left a bun in the oven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want more and be sure to leave a suggestion!


	10. Hey BooBoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice cream, Felicity, Tommy, Bear, tree... I've listed all major characters. Oh! And Roy is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe…knows where this came from. A completely random place inside of my head that just flared to life. So this is dedicated to her because I was replying to her comment when insanity struck.

Felicity: I cannot believe that I am actually here right now. 

Tommy: I can’t believe that you managed to get your ice cream up here unscathed. 

Felicity: You, Thomas Merlyn, are the worst influence on me. And I’m very dexterous. There is no way that I was dropping my ice cream cone. Especially after that guy made me pay four dollars for it! Four! What a rip off! 

Tommy: That bear down there doesn’t seem to mind. He wants your cone. 

Felicity: Well, Yogi down there can keep dreaming. He should’ve dished out the money if he wanted his own cone. 

Tommy: I think BooBoo has his wallet. 

Felicity: I’m bored and we aren’t leaving this tree anytime soon. 

Tommy: What do you want to do? 

Felicity: Want to play a game? 

Tommy: Yeah! Let’s prank Oliver! How good are you at disguising your voice? 

Felicity: I couldn’t fool Oliver… I know! Let’s get Roy! 

Tommy: Yes! That’s even better. Okay here’s my phone ‘Master of the Digital World’. 

Felicity: You flatterer. Okay, what’s our cover story? 

Tommy: Let’s just call him and see who can annoy him more!

Felicity: Alright, it’s ringing. 

Roy: Hello? 

Tommy: (New York accent) Yo, R-man! What up?! I booked those hookers for you, man. Same place tonight?

Roy: Who is this? 

Tommy: Don't play that R-man. It's Tony!

Felicity: (snickering) ... Tony...

Tommy: Listen, man, you better show up. Misty didn't come cheap. Ya hear?

Roy: You have the wrong number. (Hangs up)

Felicity: Yo, yo, yo! Tony! Ha! Classic. Now listen to Annabeth.

Roy: Hello? 

Felicity: (Southern Accent) Afternoon sweet potata. Is this Roy Harper?

Roy: Who's asking?

Felicity: My, my. Don't you sound like a tall drink of water. Wouldn't need any old ladder to change your lightbulbs. 

Tommy: (muffled behind his hand) What the fuck?

Roy: I'm not sure what's happening right now but I'm hanging up. (Hangs up)

Felicity: Well, that was rude. 

Tommy: Oh my fucking god! I can't stop laughing. You just...lightbulbs...precious. 

Felicity: Top that!

Tommy: Watch this. I'll be Spanish.

Roy: Hello?

Tommy: ¡Hola! Soy Rodriego, ¿Como estas?

Felicity: (whispered) Ooh. I should've gone Spanish!

Roy: Sorry, I don't speak Spanish.

Tommy: ¡Claro que sí! Quiero el divorcio. Amante, amante, amante de usted no me tratan bien no hay más.

Roy: (Hangs up)

Felicity: What did you just say? I didn't even know you spoke Spanish.

Tommy: Yeah. I got drunk and married in Mexico by accident once. Roughly I said "Of course! I want a divorce" then I started singing Lover Lover. 

Felicity: Interesting. I like Jarod Niemon. Any who, it looks like Ranger Smith chased Yogi away.

Tommy: Maybe he just smelled a pic-a-nic basket.

Felicity: Oh, shit. Roy is calling me! Keep quiet... Hey Roy. What's up?

Roy: Hey. I'm at Verdant but your not. There's some freaks calling me and I wanted to know if you could trace it for me.

Felicity: Trace a call for you? Why don't you just call them back?

Roy: Because the shifty little shits blocked it somehow. And I want to scare them. You sound weird. Am I on speakerphone?

Felicity: Yeah, I'm...driving...and I left my Bluetooth at work. I don't think I'll be in for the rest of the day, but I'll take a look at it tomorrow for you.

Roy: Nah, forget it. It was probably nothing anyway. 

Felicity: Are you sure?

Roy: Yeah. I'll see you later. (Hangs up)

Tommy: Yo, that was close, Annabeth.

Felicity: I do believe you are correct, Tony.

Roy: Hey Rodrigo! Get the fuck out of that tree so I can beat the shit out of you!

Tommy: Crap.

Roy: Don't make me come up there!

Tommy: Quick throw him your ice cream.

Felicity: Why?!

Tommy: So we can run while he licks it off the floor.

Felicity: I'm pretty sure that's only for dogs.

Roy: Fine. Play hard to get. I'm coming up!

Felicity: My ice cream!

Roy: Fuck! Did you just throw ice cream at me?! I can't see!

Tommy: (as he runs away) Save yourself Annabeth!

Felicity: Run Tony! Run!

Roy: (as he gives chase) I'll kill you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not exactly sure what just happened, but... it was fun anyways.


	11. Coffee Shop Riot or Tommy gets the girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy finally has a love interest that I don't hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little different. Instead of playing the game Tommy and Felicity get into shenanigans at a Coffee shop. I got this trope from the 30 day cheezy trope challenge.

Felicity: I'll bite. What are we doing in this coffee shop? Not that I don't appreciate the muffin because I do. Banana nut is my favorite and honestly have you ever had a banana muffin without nuts? It's just not the same-

Tommy: *ahem*

Felicity: Sorry. What're we doing here?

Tommy: That's what.

Felicity: The barista? Are you going to kill her?

Tommy: Anna? Never.

Felicity: Wait. You know her name? She's not really your type is she?

Tommy: No. She's not.

Felicity: I didn't think-

Tommy: She's even better.

Felicity: Wow. Okay. This just got real. How long have you been stalking this girl?

Tommy: I found this coffee shop about a month ago.

Felicity: A month? That's long for you not to make a move. Have you asked her out yet? Used the "Merlyn charm".

Tommy: Who do you think I am?! Of course I did. I could charm the pants off a deaf mute. But...

Felicity: But...she said no.

Tommy: That she did. Shh. Play it cool.

Anna: Hey, can I get you guys anything else?

Felicity: No, thank you.

(Anna walks away)

Tommy: Thanks.

Felicity: I had to stop you before you said something like "just your phone number"

Tommy: That's what I said the first time. I said, "A coffee black and your number please". Don't laugh!

Felicity: (snorted) And she didn't fall for those smooth moves?

Tommy: No. Said she didn't date customers. Which we both know is a lie. I just can't speak around her. I revert back to a teenager.

Felicity: What is so special about this brunette? Do you even know anything about her? 

Tommy: I know that she's in graduate school, because I saw her studying behind the counter. She's sweet to everyone who comes in. But not psudo-sweet. She genuinely likes people. And she has beautiful blue-green eyes that change color in different lighting and cut through me.

Felicity: Oh my god. You're serious about this girl. We have to do something. We'll call it: Operation Cobra! 

Tommy: That makes no sense.

Felicity: Yeah, but its badass, so it doesn't matter. (Standing from her seat)

Tommy: Where are you going?

Felicity: To do something really stupid and selfless in the name of your happiness.

Tommy: What...?

AT THE COUNTER

Felicity: Hi, Anna? 

Anna: That's me. What can I help you with?

Felicity: Could I get a fruit smoothie?

Anna: Sure. One minute.

Felicity: My friend, Tommy-- that guy I'm with-- he dragged me all the way down here for coffee. He said it was the best in the city. He wasn't lying.

Anna: Thanks. I appreciate that. I actually own the coffee shop. My mother left it to me.

Felicity: That's sweet of her. He's also a really great friend. Always listening to my problems and dragging me out of my office to remind me to eat. He's a great guy...

Anna: I know where this is going. I just don't think its a good idea. He's Tommy Merlyn. He has a lot of money and popularity. Its not a good fit for me.

Felicity: But he really likes you.

Anna: That's because he doesn't know me.

Felicity: can't you give him a chance?

Anna: I'm sorry.

Felicity: Then you leave me no choice.

Anna: What do you mean?

Tommy: Lis' what're you doing?

Felicity: Probably getting banned. (Stands on her chair) Excuse me everyone?! Tommy is a good guy. Has he made some mistakes? Of course, haven't we all? This one time in college I went to Minnesota for spring break and my friend took me to this lake, which turned out to be more like a swamp. Then she insisted that we go skinny dipping, which I don't normally do but I figured that it could be fun--and I never do reckless things like that and for good reason because the swamp ended up nesting an alligator. I nearly lost my leg to his meaty hunger. I swear to this day I can't even look at one in the zoo without being scarred and-- wait. What was I saying?

Tommy: No one knows. Lis' seriously get down.

Felicity: Right, Tommy. He's a great person. He is my best friend. He lets me drag him to art museums and he takes me to clubs in outfits that make me feel uncomfortably sexy. And he helped me get over myself so that I could be with the man who is the love of my life. All I'm asking is that you give him a chance. (Begins chanting) Give Tom a chance! Give Tom a chance!

(The other customers chant along)

Tommy: I'm sorry. This doesn't usually happen...often. I'll take her down and then we'll get out of your hair.

Felicity: Give Tom...ow! Tommy put me down! Don't hurt my baby! 

OUTSIDE THE SHOP

Felicity: Sorry I got carried away. I just wanted to help out get the girl like you helped me with Oliver.

Tommy: Lis' I get it. And I appreciate the gesture. Its just that--

Anna: Tommy! Wait! Here. I work 9 to 5- if you start singing Dolly I'll kill you- and I have grad school on the weekends, but I'm sure we can figure something out.

Felicity: She just winked at you. Oh my god. She gave you her number, winked, and walked away. Tommy? Say something.

Tommy: I think I'm in love...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure that I love this chapter, but I worked on it all day. Let me know if this was okay. If you guys liked it then let me know if you want me to continue doing the tropes. I'll incorporate all characters and it would mean one chapter of this a day. Probably updated at night unless inspiration strike me earlier. I won't do it if you guys don't like this.


	12. I love you, but its a secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity has been getting love notes from a secret admirer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's number 2: Anonymous love letters.

Scene: Felicity is at work in the IT department of Queen Consolidated. She's on the phone with her long time best friend Tommy.

Felicity: Tommy this is seriously bothering me. 

Tommy: Where did you find it and what does it say?

Felicity: I found the letter when I came back from lunch. It was just sitting on my desk in a white envelope. It says, "Your smile is like a drug. I need a fix just to get me through the day. Would you feed my addiction? Smile for me, today"

Tommy: Damn...

Felicity: I know. Its cheesy as hell.

Tommy: He is one smooth little shit. Damn. Okay, so I don't think its a joke. Not since this is the third one, right? 

Felicity: Yeah. No one would go this far for a laugh. 

Tommy: Recap me on the other ones.

Felicity: The first said, "You look beautiful in pink. But more beautiful when you blush" and the second said, "To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence means accepting the risk of absence. So take a chance on me?".

Tommy: Huh. He's not the most creative knife in the block. 

Felicity: I know. Its a sweet gesture, but I want to know who the everlasting hell it is! 

Tommy: What'll you do when you find out? Show him your gratitude...in the janitor's closet...without clothes...?

Felicity: Does it hurt?

Tommy: What?

Felicity: The fact that I can hear you wiggling your eyebrows through the phone. 

Tommy: No, it doesn't. Does it hurt?

Felicity: What?

Tommy: Having that stick up your butt all the time?

Felicity: Thomas Merlyn I swear to god that--If you hit the reset button on the lefthand side of the console you'll reboot the machine to your desired settings.

Tommy: Your boss just walked next to your desk didn't he?

Felicity: Yes, the screen should turn black for a few moments, but no more.

Tommy: Is it the CEO again? Or his son? Can you hear my wiggles now?

Felicity: Yes, the latter option is the one you want. But be careful. If you hit the right button you're whole system will crash. The whole thing.

Tommy: Alright, message received. You'll kick my ass. Is he still there? Is he waiting for you to get off the phone?

Felicity: Yes, its no problem. Have a nice day. (Hangs up)

Oliver: Hi Felicity. How've you been?

Felicity: Mr. Queen, what can I do for you?

Oliver: I told you to call me Oliver. I don't like "Mister". We've known each other for six months now. And you've seen my computer history, I think we've moved past formalities.

Felicity: So, Mr. Queen, is your laptop acting up again?

Oliver: No, um, this is actually Thea's. She's been asking me to get it checked out cause its slow and I didn't know where else to take it. Do you know what the problem might be?

Felicity: I'm not sure. I can take a look though.

Oliver: Thanks. I'll just wait here.

Felicity: You don't have to stay. This could take up to an hour.

Oliver: I don't mind. Do you have a pen that I could borrow?

Felicity: Sure. Here's a legal pad too. You know, if you... need it.

Oliver: Thanks.

FORTY MINUTES LATER

Felicity: Alright, I think that should solve it. I'd give you a rundown of what I did if I thought you'd understand. 

Oliver: (smiling) Thanks. 

Felicity: (just before he walks away) Um, Mr. Queen- Oliver- you've been here this week right?

Oliver: Yes...

Felicity: Have you, um, seen anyone hanging around my desk? Possibly with envelopes?

Oliver: Yeah I have. Ryan. From the mail room. He delivers the mail then. 

Felicity: (deflated) Oh.

Oliver: Actually, I did see someone else. Shifty looking guy, but then again he's always been weird.

Felicity: Who was it?

Oliver: How about, if you can guess who he is I'll tell you.

Felicity: I'm at work. I can't just...okay, fine. Is it Tom from around the corner?

Oliver: The guy with the lazy eye?

Felicity: Yeah. Don't laugh. He asked me out for coffee two weeks ago and I turned him down. 

Oliver: Because of his eye?

Felicity: No. Because he stole my lunch out of the fridge thinking that I wouldn't notice.

Oliver: The scoundrel! This offense cannot stand! I'm taking you to lunch today. Then we'll take some back and saunter past his desk to make him jealous.

Felicity: Stop (laughing). He's not too bad. Just weird. Is it...is he tall? 6 ft or higher?

Oliver: Yeah. He's tall.

Felicity: He works here?

Oliver: No. He doesn't.

Felicity: He didn't have black hair, did he?

Oliver: Nope. Why?

Felicity: My best friend has black hair. If it had been him I'd have beat him up.

Oliver: What has this guy been doing to you that you want to find him?

Felicity: He, uh, he's been leaving me notes. Love notes. 

Oliver: I see. And what are you going to do when you find him? 

Felicity: I'm not sure. I mean, there's only one guy that I would want it to be. If its not him, which I don't think it is, because that's not what the evidence is pointing to, then I won't do anything.

Oliver: And if it is?

Felicity: Probably do something undignified like jump up and down squealing. 

Oliver: Huh. I hope its him just so that I can see that. I can picture your arms flailing around now. 

Felicity: Shut up! It won't be too bad...until I trip over my heel and likely fall out the window behind me. That'd be just my luck.

Oliver: I'm sure Superman would catch you. 

Felicity: I'd rather it not be Superman. Although meeting Superman would be awesome. I want to ask him why he doesn't wear a mask. Back on topic, though. So, he's tall and doesn't work here. He doesn't have black hair...blonde?

Oliver: Messy blonde, yeah.

Felicity: Does he come here often?

Oliver: Yeah, recently he's been here more frequently. What's wrong. You look pale. Do you know who it is?

Felicity: I have an inkling. Have I helped him recently?

Oliver: Fairly recent, yeah.

Felicity: Oliver, is there something you want to tell me?

Oliver: Read that.

Felicity: The doodles you made while I worked? 

Oliver: Not doodles.

Felicity: "I've watched you for months just like this. Found any appliance with problems that I could. At one point I crashed my own laptop just for this. To watch you in your element. Study the curve of your back as you lean over your work. The long lines of your neck when you tilt your head. The way your nose scrunches when your confused. And don't get me started on what happens when you bite your pen. People tell me that I can have anyone that I want. But that's not true. I don't deserve you. And I spent these months studying you because I know that eventually I'll have to walk away from you. No matter how much I don't want to" Oliver, I...

Oliver: Felicity. You don't have to say anything. I don't... wait. What're you doing? Ow. That was my face.

Felicity: Ooh. Sorry. You pictured flailing limbs and I gave them to you. Because, you idiot, I wanted it to be you! 

Oliver: Are you serious? Don't say it out of obligation. 

Felicity: Oliver, please. I fell when I found out you were a smile junkie.

Oliver: Of course. Who can resist an addict?

Felicity: No human. That's for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please say something?


	13. She's a comedian. A bad one at that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has a new act coming to perform at his club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Idol/Fan. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. Let me know what you think, okay?

Scene: At Oliver's small club, Verdant. Sarah and Oliver are discussing the new act that Oliver hired to perform.

Sarah: She's a comedian. A bad one, at that.

Oliver: You're just upset that I gave her your spot in the lineup.

Sarah: Yeah, well the Black Canaries have been performing here headlining since you opened. And before you say anything we both know that its because we're great and not because you and I are best friends.

Oliver: But she came so highly recommended.

Sarah: Who would-

Oliver: Tommy.

Sarah: The backstabbing rat! 

Oliver: The irony that she's here because of your drummer must be setting in right about now.

Sarah: How do they even...?

Oliver: They lived next to each other when his mom divorced his dad. They've been best friends since he was eight. He never stops talking about her. 

Sarah: Ugh...wait. She's a comedian...

Oliver: What? Why the gasp? 

Sarah: ...

Oliver: If you stay like that long enough your face will freeze that way.

Sarah: She's the one.

Oliver: I don't know what you're talking about.

Sarah: Yes you do! She's the one you went to see!

Oliver: Keep your voice down!

Sarah: Afraid she'll hear me? Admit it. She's the comedian you saw three years ago! The one with the startling blue eyes, sunshine smile, the one who barfs rainbows and will one day bear your children. The comedian you swore would be the future Mrs. Oliver Queen! Admit it!

Oliver: No, Sarah, I won't admit it... out loud.

Sarah: This is perfect. I have to see this woman for myself. How did you contain yourself during the interview? Did you jump her right there?

Oliver: Well-

Sarah: You didn't interview her, did you? 

Oliver: Tommy came to me asking for a favor. He said she needed a gig to stay on her feet since she lost her day job. So I said she could have his spot. I didn't even think to check her out. I already knew she was good.

Sarah: Let me get this straight. You're in love with this girl, that you've never actually spoken to. Who also happens to be the best friend of one of your best friends. And you gave her my spot tonight so that she didn't become homeless, living on the street.

Oliver: ...yes...

Sarah: I have to see this girl. I'll be back.

IN THE "DRESSING ROOM"

Tommy: Are you ready to ruuummmblllle?!

Felicity: Today's competitor, weighing in at mfmnt pounds-

Tommy: self conscious of your weight? You're a stick!

Felicity: -she likes long walks on the beach and kicking Tommy's ass. It's Felicity!

Tommy: And in the other corner, weighing in at mfghdt pounds-

Felicity: Look who else doesn't like talking about his weight.

Tommy: I just didn't want you to feel bad. He likes piña coladas and dancing in the rain-

Felicity: (laughing) You're such an idiot.

Tommy: -it's Tommy! 

Felicity: I hope that I never outgrow this.

Tommy: We've been doing this since we were eight to calm your stage fright. That was eighteen years ago. If we were going to outgrow it, I'm sure it'd be done already. Are you almost ready to go onstage? Tonight is the night.

Felicity: Just a little nervous. You said the owner is cool right? 

Tommy: Of course. Me and Oliver go way back. Not as far as you and me, but. Don't worry. Your material is going to kill. 

Felicity: Alright. If you're sure.

Tommy: I've never been more sure.

(Knock on the door)

Tommy: Hey Sarah. Get in here! This is my friend Felicity Smoak. Felicity this is Sarah Lance. 

Felicity: Hi, I've heard a lot about you.

Sarah: Hi. Nice to meet you. So, you're a comedian?

Felicity: Yeah, nothing too great like Jim Gaffigan or Demitri Martin.

Tommy: Don't sell yourself short. You're adorable.

Sarah: Did you perform at a club called Milligan's? It would've been like-

Felicity: Three years ago. Yeah. I'm friends with the owner, Adam. Have you seen my show before?

Sarah: No. Unfortunately not. My friend saw it and he couldn't stop talking about it for weeks afterward. You made quite an impression on him. 

Felicity: I'm glad to hear that he liked it.

Sarah: Would it be okay if I introduced him after the show? He's a little bit in love with you.

Felicity: (flustered) Yeah, sure, of course. I'll be looking for you.

AFTER HER SET

Oliver: Where are we going?

Sarah: To introduce you to the woman who will one day bear your children. And your name.

Oliver: Wait, what? No, I can't meet her now! I have to- Hey, Tommy.

Tommy: Oliver? Oliver is the guy?

Oliver: Why did she just wink at you? What is happening right now?

Tommy: Nothing. Let me introduce you to Felicity. She's been dying to meet you. (Walks up to Felicity) Hey, Lis' this is the club's owner and my friend, Oliver Queen. He's also Sarah's friend.

Felicity: Sarah's...? Oh. Um, hi, Oliver. It's nice to meet you. 

Oliver: Likewise. 

Felicity: Thanks for letting me perform so last minute. I really needed this job.

Tommy: (feigns looking at his phone) Thea just texted me. She says she needs me and Sarah. I'll be back later. 

(They rush out)

Felicity: Because that wasn't an obvious lie.

Oliver: Of course not. They both needed to leave, at the same time.

Felicity: Sarah told me you've seen my show before.

Oliver: Yeah, I was at a friend's club. Milligan's?

Felicity: Are you friends with Adam?

Oliver: His brother Sam co-owns it. He fronted the money so Adam could get it running. 

Felicity: Oh. I always did like Sam. 

Oliver: Yeah, he's a great guy. I really like your performance. If you wanted to, I can make some time on the schedule for you to perform every Friday? It would be before the Black Canaries go on at eight.

Felicity: Are you sure?

Oliver: Of course, I am. After all, I am a fan.

THE NEXT MORNING

Felicity: Thanks for the flowers. That's sweet of you.

Tommy: What flowers?

Felicity: The ones you just sent me? With the card that says "love your bigger fan"?

Tommy: Sorry, Lis'. That's not from me. You must have a secret admirer.

Felicity: I must.


	14. I like your suit. It's... unorthodox...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver meet in a dream. And then on a train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day4: Meet in a dream. I know this is posted really early, but I special ordered it for starlingkingandqueen. Here you are, sweetheart.

Scene: Felicity is sitting on a beach somewhere tanning (because that's plausible) when a stranger comes to sit next to her.

Stranger (Oliver): Hey, do you mind if I sit here?

Felicity: No. Go ahead.

Stranger (Oliver): Thanks. (Takes off his shirt as he lays next to her) I'm Oliver.

Felicity: Felicity. 

Oliver: I like your suit. It's... unorthodox...

Felicity: It was a present from my mother, believe it or not. I told her I didn't have time before our trip to pick one up so she bought one.

Oliver: With rubber ducks.

Felicity: With rubber ducks. Because apparently I'm five years old. 

Oliver: Well, I like it. It has character.

Felicity: Please. I've heard that before. "You have a great personality, but we're moving in different directions"

Oliver: You were fired-

Felicity: Dumped. Twice. It felt so nice he did it twice. Once was on our wedding day. You'd think we were dissolving a merger the way he talked down my mother.

Oliver: Yikes.

Felicity: Yeah. I slit his tires.

Oliver: So you're on vacation? And your single?

Felicity: Subtle. Yeah, I'm here with my Mom. It's her birthday. Also, no. I'm in a committed relationship with my invisible boyfriend John. He's so great to me and my fake kids.

Oliver: Really? That's a shame. How do you feel about adultery?

Felicity: You want me to cheat on the fake father of my fake children?! 

Oliver: I believe so.

Felicity: I see. Alright. Let's play a game. If you can snag me with a great pickup line then I'll give you my phone number. Deal?

Oliver: Deal. Now shake on it. This is officially a binding contract.

Felicity: You a lawyer? 

Oliver: I may or may not have my own firm.

Felicity: Plausible deniability. Nice. Okay, begin.

Oliver: Are you religious because you're the answer to all my prayers.

Felicity: Ooh, good one. But no.

Oliver: I'm not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.

Felicity: Ha! Keep going.

Oliver: Do you have a sunburn or are you always this hot?

Felicity: I think it's a sunburn...

Oliver: Alright the kiddie gloves are coming off. Ready for this?

Felicity: I was born ready!

Oliver: You were? I was born crying. Manly tears, of course.

Felicity: Oh, of course.

Oliver: Now that that is settled. Do you have a map because I'm lost in your eyes.

Felicity: Ooh. Sorry. I do have a GPS?

Oliver: Smartass. Do you live in a cornfield? Because I'm stalking you.

Felicity: Oh my Jesus! (Laughing) ...cornfield...ha...

Oliver: Don't worry. I'm not drunk. Just intoxicated by you.

Felicity: That's a relief its only ten in the morning.

Oliver: I will not be deterred. I will find the perfect one for you. Trust me, I've got a million of them.

Felicity: Do you often troll for women?

Oliver: I'm just an amazing wing man.

Felicity: I'm sure. 

Oliver: You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

Felicity: No thanks. 

Oliver: Can I follow you home because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Felicity: (halts laughter) wait. What did you say? Dreams?

Oliver: (voice distorting) Miss. Miss. You're going to miss your stop. Miss?

(Wakes up on the train)

Felicity: Hi, sorry. I must've fallen asleep. 

Oliver: That's alright. I didn't want you to miss your stop. I hate when I pull an all nighter for work. I always end up falling asleep on the train and late for court.

Felicity: You're a lawyer?

Oliver: Yeah. Here's my card. I have a practice on the other side of town. But I basically live in court. You seem really familiar. Have we met before?

Felicity: I don't think so. I'm Felicity.

Oliver: Its nice to meet you, I'm Oliver. 

Felicity: Thanks for waking me Oliver. My stop is next. 

Oliver: I thought happiness started with H. Why does mine start with U?

Felicity: ...

Oliver: What's this?

Felicity: My phone number. Call me with more pickup lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe if we're lucky I'll post another one later today. Let me know what you think.


	15. Bad boys, bad boys. What'cha gonna do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea and Felicity are cuffed together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day5 (also posted on day4): Handcuffed.

Scene: After an unfortunate run in with a street hooker/ undercover cop Felicity and Thea end up handcuffed together.

Thea: I can't honestly believe that happened.   
Felicity: I'm not the kinda girl who gives up just like that. Oh, no.

Thea: I love that you have to speak in lyrical form.

Felicity: I won't back down. Gonna stand my ground.

Thea: It makes it so much better when you sing them. This game is so much fun. Well,minus the fact that we're now handcuffed together. But, what're you gonna do?

Felicity: So, tell me what you want. What you really, real want.

Thea: I really, really, really, really want...some lunch. Let's grab something and keep going.   
Felicity: Peanut butter jelly time?

Thea: Ha! If you want. I'd rather grab some tacos though. 

Felicity: (cups Thea's face in her hands) There's no other way, to better say, I love you. I love you.

Thea: Best. Dare. Ever. (cups Felicity's face as well) Don't ever change. My wrist is chaffing. Let's eat.

Felicity: Where you lead, I will follow. Any-anywhere that you tell me too.

(Thea drags her behind by the cuff)

IN THE TACO SHOP

Thea: Hey big brother! Fancy seeing you here. In the mood for tacos?

Oliver: Yeah, it was Tommy's turn to pick. What's with the cuffs?

Felicity: I shot the sheriff. But I didn't shoot the deputy.

Thea: (continues) she didn't do it, she didn't do it...

Oliver: Um, okay? Is this what you usually do on your bonding days? Handcuff yourselves together singing obscure songs that no one remembers anymore?

Thea: Usually we go shopping or to a spa, but Felicity wanted to do something else so we're playing a game.

Felicity: (slaps Thea's arm) Quit playing games with my heart. I should've known from the start...

Oliver: So what's next after lunch for you?

Thea: Well, this morning Felicity dared me to be so rude that the gardener would push me into the pool. Which he did after almost twenty minutes of me yelling something about azaleas.

Oliver: That explains the damp hair and clothes.

Thea: Yeah, I wasn't allowed to change. Then I dared Felicity to get one of the house staff to kiss her. Which she did.

Oliver: Who kissed my...assistant?

Thea: Ooh, jealous? I won't say. I don't want her to get fired-

Oliver: Her?

Thea: What can I say? Felicity is popular with the ladies. 

Felicity: She gives me love, love, love, love. Crazy love.

Thea: In retaliation she dared me to stand on the roof and scream out embarrassing things that I don't want to go through again. The gardener and maids got a good laugh. So I dared her to speak only in song lyrics for the rest of the day. And she dared me to pick up a hooker.

Felicity: Bad boys. Bad boys. What'cha gonna do? (holds up their cuffed hands) What'cha gonna do when they come for you?

Oliver: You were arrested?!

Thea: No. The hooker was an undercover cop. He cuffed us before we ran away. Now we're just walking around freaking people out.

Oliver: I don't want you two playing this dare game anymore. You could get into serious trouble. How would it look if you were both arrested for solicitation? 

Thea: Fine. We'll go home and be bored. 

Oliver: Thank you. I think Diggle has a key for those. I'll go get him from the car.

Felicity: (as he walks away) I pray your breaks go out running down a hill. I hope a flower pot falls from a windowsill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to.

Thea: You and me both. Hey Dig.

Felicity: You know I'd fall apart without you. Don't know how you do what you do. 

Diggle: What's going on?

Thea: She has to sing all day. No speaking for the blonde.

Diggle: Do you take requests?

Thea: Yes! Its my turn. I dare you to get on a chair and serenade the restaurant with whatever Diggle wants to hear!

Diggle: I don't know if...screw it. Are you game?

Felicity: Hit me with your best shot. Fire away!

Diggle: (chuckling) Do you know Twilight Time? 

Felicity: Really, truly, madly?

Diggle: Its my parents wedding song. They'd play it all the time when we were kids. It'll be my wedding song when I ask Lyla to marry me.

Thea: Aw! That's so sweet!

Felicity: (climbing onto her chair) Heavenly shades of night are falling, its twilight time. Out on the mist your voice is calling, its twilight time. As purple colored curtains mark the end of days. We're together at last at twilight time-

Diggle: May I have this dance?

Thea: Of course.

Felicity: Deepening shadows gather splendor as day is done. Fingers of night will soon surrender, the setting sun. I count the moments darling till your here with me. When we're together at last at twilight time-

(They dance as others get up to do the same)

Felicity: And, in the afterglow of the deep we keep our rendezvous beneath the blue. And in the same and sweet old way I fall in love again, as I did then.

(A customer holds out his hand asking Felicity to climb down and dance. She accepts)

Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me like days of old. Lighting the spark of love that fills me, with dreams untold. Each day I pray for evening just to be with you. Together at last at twilight time.

Thea: Whoop!! Encore!

Random stranger: Free bird!

Felicity: (laughing) Hit me baby one more time?

Thea: (begins chanting) One more! One more! (everyone joins in)

Felicity: (the stranger picks her up to stand on the counter) You. Doin' that thing you do. Breaking my heart into a million pieces like you always do-

Oliver: (walks in) What did I say?! 

Felicity: - and you, you don't mean to be cruel. You never even knew about the heartache, I've been goin' through-

Thea: Put her down, Ollie!

Diggle: Lighten up, man.

Felicity: (being carried away through the restaurant) -We could be happy can't you see, if you'd only let me be the one to hold you and keep you here with me-

Oliver: We're going home.

Felicity: (lower with more conviction now that they're alone in the car) -and it hurts me so just to see you go, around with someone new. Every time you do that thing, every day just doin' that thing, I can't take you doin' that thing you do.

Oliver: You don't have to keep singing things. You can just tell me...

Felicity: (moving across the seat to him) I'm getting off my stage  
The curtains pull away  
No hyperbole to hide behind  
My naked soul exposes

Oliver: What're you saying?

Felicity: There's no other way  
To better say (she cups his face)  
I love you, is that okay...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs include, but not limited to,   
> Tide is high- Blondie  
> Quit playing games with my heart- backstreet boys  
> That thing you do- The Wonders  
> Twilight time- The Platters  
> These words- Natasha Beningfield 
> 
> And some others...I don't know.


	16. I will always return to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day6: Arranged Marriage. Honestly... My heart broke a little bit just writing this. Warning: this is more somber than the others.

Scene: Oliver is the crowned prince of Verdant kingdom. He's laying in a closet with his maid, Felicity, after a last night of passion before his wedding tomorrow. They're both whispering to evade detection.

Felicity: Are you nervous about tomorrow?

Oliver: Truthfully? Yes. I don't want to go through with it.

Felicity: But you must. This marriage is what's best for the kingdom. Without the alliance of King Lance, Verdant will be condemned to a future of war and poverty. No one would with that fate for their home and people.

Oliver: I understand. We've had this argument before and I don't want to fight tonight.

Felicity: I know. I don't want to fight either.

Oliver: Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like under different circumstances. If you were the princess destined for me.

Felicity: Or if you were a pauper destined for me?

Oliver: I constantly wish that either choice was reality.

Felicity: If it had, then we never would've had the time together that we did. We wouldn't have played secretly through the castle...

Oliver: ...snuck out to the fields during the night...

Felicity: That was the best night I can remember. Watching the stars travel through the skies. I knew that they would never be the same and when I glanced over to see you watching me, I knew that we wouldn't either.

Oliver: (moves a stand of hair from her forehead) That was the night that I kissed you for the first time.

Felicity: ...and tonight will be the last.

Oliver: Your mother used to tell me not to play with you.

Felicity: She told me the same. She argued that I would become too attached. Said that I would only be breaking my own heart when this day came. (begins to tear up) Of course she was right. As always.

Oliver: Don't cry, sweetheart. (wiping away her tears) We both know that I don't get a choice in this. We've fought about it countless times...

Felicity: (laughs through her tears at the memory)

Oliver:...but if I did have one; there would be no contest. In every scenario I would choose you. You will always be the one that I love.

Felicity: You will move on. You will marry princess Laurel and have children. Soon you will forget all about me. 

Oliver: I will never forget about you. I don't love Laurel. I could never love Laurel because I have already given my heart away. Were it possible to hand it to you, I would.

Felicity: Don't make promises that you can't keep. 

Oliver: I have something for you.

Felicity: What is...is this...?

Oliver: This was my mother's. It has been passed down through decades. 

Felicity: This is too much. This should be given to Laurel, not to me.

Oliver: My mother always said that it was her most valued possession. The gem is modest, but she knew when she looked at it that it was there because my father loved her. Whether they fought or were apart from one another, she knew that he would come back to her.

Felicity: But...

Oliver: No but. This belongs to you now. Would you please accept this ring? And with it my promise that I will always return to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to all of you lovely people who continue to read and enjoy my ramblings. Thank you all.


	17. Fucking Witches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day7 & 8: Genderbend & Body swap. Just so you know in this chapter apparently withes are commonplace. And they're jerks.

Felicity: Tommy! Stop touching me!

Tommy: I can't help it. Its so weird to wear a skirt. I have to take these heels off. I might just trip over myself and harm you...or me...or...ugh! I'm so confused.

Felicity: Let's just get back to Verdant in one piece before you end up damaging one of us. I'll drive.

BACK AT VERDANT

Thea: Hey Felicity! I have to talk to you about my homework. Meaning you have to explain all of my notes to me because nothing makes sense in the world.

Felicity: That sounds great, but it'll have to wait. I'm having a little crisis right now.

Thea: That's nice, Tommy, but I wasn't actually talking to you.

Felicity: What? Oh, no. I'm Felicity.

Thea: I think I know the difference between the two of you. For example, Felicity doesn't have five o'clock shadow and look like the guy I grew up with.

Tommy: It's true. I'm stuck over here in this skirt and heels.

Thea: Let's pretend for a minute that I'm willing to believe you. Prove it.

Tommy: You tried to kiss me in a back alley while you were drunk. 

Thea: Of fuck! Why are you both in different bodies?! HOW are you in each others bodies?!

Felicity: I don't know.

Tommy: We were in a restaurant ragging on each other when we simultaneously opened our fortune cookies. After we read the fortune, simultaneously aloud, we were transformed into each other!

Thea: Pretty sure that's the plot to Freaky Friday.

Tommy: I must've been dreaming about Jamie Lee Curtis again. Whoops. Why're you gasping?

Felicity: Long story short; there was a which who said the curse would only be lifted if the man I love made a declaration of love to me.

Tommy: Yeah. She was a bitch. Honestly, why did she have to include me? 

Felicity: Because you were with me?

Tommy: Maybe next time you shouldn't piss off a witch!

Felicity: How was I supposed to know she doesn't like people taking apples from her tree?!

Tommy: Maybe the 'No Trespassing' sign should've been a give away!

Thea: So you have to make Oliver declare his love for you?

Felicity: What?! I don't...pfft... Oliver...? Yes.

Thea: I thought so. That's going to be tough since he's an emotionally constipated martyr. 

Tommy: We have to make him jealous. We don't have to make him love you, it's already there.

Thea: You just have to make him spit it out.

DOWNSTAIRS

Oliver: Where have the two of you been?

Felicity: Why? Are you jealous?

Tommy: Sorry. We were just at lunch.

Felicity: Together. At lunch together. 

Tommy: In a completely platonic way.

Felicity: (muttered for effect) If you can call that kiss platonic. She couldn't keep her hands off me.

Tommy: (holding back his laughter barely) It wasn't anything. I just tripped and...

Felicity: ...and your lips fell to mine. I guess your tongue also fell into my mouth?

Oliver: What?

Tommy: (ignoring Oliver's growing jealousy) Exactly! Thank god you understand. 

Felicity: Yeah. I understand completely. Call me next time you fall. I'll be sure to catch you.

Tommy: Tommy just winked at me and walked away. Smooth.

Oliver: What the hell was that about, Felicity?

Tommy: Nothing. We were just...talking.

Oliver: Is there anything I should know about you and Tommy?

Tommy: No. Why do you ask?

Oliver: ...I like to know what my team is up to. That's all. I have to head upstairs for a minute. Can you pull up the information on Smith again?

Tommy: ...sure...

UPSTAIRS

Oliver: Hey, Tommy! 

Felicity: Yeah. What's up?

Oliver: Is there something I should know about you and Felicity? 

Felicity: I don't think so.

Oliver: So you weren't just vagrantly flirting with her downstairs?

Felicity: Well, I was. I like Felicity and she's single. Is there a reason that I shouldn't flirt with her? 

Oliver: No. Of course not...

Felicity: So you don't like her?

Oliver: I don't have the luxury of feelings.

Felicity: That didn't sound like a 'no'. 

Oliver: That's because it wasn't. 

Felicity: What would you do if you did have the luxury?

Oliver: ... Probably arrow you...

Message from Tommy: We need to up our game.

Message from Felicity: You're right. We have to go code red.

Message from Tommy: Code red?! There's no coming back from that. Are you prepared?

Message from Felicity: I have to be.

Message from Tommy: Then get down here and let's do it.

DOWNSTAIRS (again)

Oliver: What the hell are you doing Tommy?!

Felicity: I was kissing Felicity before you so rudely pulled me away. Why do you care? 

Tommy: Oliver, why do you care?

Oliver: I...because...

Felicity: Say it. Tell her.

Oliver: I can't...

Felicity: WHY NOT? Say it or I can't be held responsible for my actions! If you don't then I'll give her mine. I'll give her everything you won't!

Oliver: YOU CAN'T!

Felicity: WHY?

Oliver: Because I love Felicity!

(Blinding light envelops the room)

Oliver: What just happened?

Felicity: I'm back. Thank God.

Tommy: God doesn't exist. If he did, he wouldn't have made me kiss myself.

Oliver: What?

Felicity: I love you, too, Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I may or may not have read Rapunzel recently...


	18. I'm a survivalist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 9: Zombie AU

Oliver: What am I looking at right now? What is this?

Felicity: I have to tell you something about myself...

Oliver: That you're a food hoarder?

Felicity: I'm a survivalist.

Oliver: A doomsday prepper?

Felicity: Survivalist!

Oliver: Tomato, to-mah-to. What exactly are you prepared to survive?

Felicity: A zombie apocalypse, an alien invasion, a giant magical dome trapping all of us inside...you name it. 

Oliver: Have you been watching late night TV? Because I have another show that you should watch. Its called Hoarders: buried alive.

Felicity: ha...ha...I have everything that I could need. Medical supplies, canned and boxes foods, millions of water bottles, knives, a sword, tons of arrows, gas, a generator, sleeping bags. You'll be thanking me one day for this.

Oliver: If you say so.

15 years, a zombie outbreak and alien invasion later...

Oliver: Have I ever thanked you for your hoarding?


	19. The disappearing act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where have a the shirts gone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm back! So. I totally gave up on the cheesy tropes because I'm horrible at forced creativity. But! Destinyofdreams completely inspired me to no end. So this is dedicated to TJ. You're so freaking cool! This is also a crossover chapter so I hope you guys like Supernatural...or at least Sam and Dean.

Oliver: Why are they here and who are they?!

Felicity: This is Sam and Dean. They let me into their bunker when I was in trouble remember? This is like Quid pro quo. I update your lair, you update mine.

Oliver: What? What update?

Dean: Okay, so you have your standard devil's trap at the bottom of the stairs and by all exits. Angel wards of all kinds, I'll teach you how to do a vanishing sigil in case one slips in somehow, there are demon wards and...

Oliver: Is he crazy?

Sam: Unfortunately not. We also left you some salt rounds in case of specters, what else...?

Felicity: Did you have to draw them so large? Now I wish we had picture frames to cover them up. 

Sam: uhm, Dean? Where's your shirt?

Dean: (looking up from checking out the devil's trap) What? Wait, where the hell did my shirt go? And where is yours?

Sam: (looking down) What the h...

Tommy: (bursts in from the club entrance) Guys! Check this out! Oh, are we having an orgy? I should wash up...

Felicity: Tommy! I'm a newlywed! I don't have time for orgies. What'd you want to show us?

Tommy: Well unless everyone in here decided to strip you already know. My shirt completely vanished.

Oliver: (looking to his own naked torso) What?

Tommy: That's ironic. The one day you decide to wear a shirt down here it disappears. 

Felicity: (high fives Tommy while laughing) Ha! Burn! 

Dean: Do you have another shirt we can use?

Tommy: No good. I put another on and it vanished again.

Felicity: hold on. Roy is calling me. Hello?

Roy: (Thea's laughing maniacally in the background) Its not funny Thea! Felicity my shirt just completely disappeared! I'm freaking out. We were at lunch with Thea's mom and suddenly, boom, naked Roy! 

Felicity: (holding in her laughter and failing) That's...terrible...Roy...HA! I can't...sorry. Come back to the foundry, okay? Everyone seems to be having that problem today. 

SEVEN HOURS (and a lot of hot shirtless guys) LATER

Felicity: They're all asleep in separate rooms clutching blankets around themselves.

Thea: I made you some hot chocolate. Its too late for coffee.

Felicity: but not for chocolate.

Thea: never for chocolate. (Takes a sip) So what do you think happened today?

Felicity: I think a witch must have owed someone a favor for hiding them from the hot brothers because she was a sweet woman an then she granted her a wish to have all of her hot saviors stay shirtless for 24 hours. (Takes another sip nonchalantly)

Thea: (wide eyed) Get the fuck out!

Felicity: I met her at a flee market running from an angel and hunters. So I hid her and helped the boys find the actual baddie.

Thea: So she made their shirts disappear! 

Felicity: She said I could have any wish I wanted...

Thea: Wait. I understand Oliver but how did the others save you? Tommy?

Felicity: Tommy saved me the other day in the park when I was dying of hunger. He bought me an ice cream cone. He owed me anyway for throwing mine at Roy, but whatever. 

Thea: ...what...?

Felicity: Story for another day. Roy saved me from boredom by playing Clue with me last week. He totally Miss Peacocked me, though!

Thea: Again, what?

Felicity: Not important. Dean decapitated a ghost for me. (Wide eyed) Don't ask how. And Sam caught me when I tripped on the sidewalk this morning.

Thea: That saved you? 

Felicity: Actually I fake tripped. Have you seen him?! I had to think on my feet!

Thea: You're my idol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's my idol too. Imagine shirtless hottie's running around all over the place! Yes! You can check me out on Tumblr at lettersbymail.tumblr.com and you should check out destinyofdreams on this site if you are into Supernatural (destiel). She's so awesome.


	20. Bring back my baby to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Oliver play hide and seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dedicated to hatedinnocence03 on ff.net. She is wonderful and gave me this prompt. I hope that its worthy. Let me know.

Felicity: Okay. Once I make this call you will have exactly ten minutes to make it inside, pick up the package and get out undetected. Can you handle it?

Sam: I'm a hunter. I was born for this.

Felicity: As long as your sure. 

Sam: And no one knows about this, right?

Felicity: This is strictly a you and me mission.

Sam: Let's do this!

XXXXX

Oliver: Shit, shit, shit! 

Tommy: What happened? What's the emergency?! I rushed here so fast I was almost run over by a bike messenger.

Oliver: I lost my daughter!

Tommy: ...What do you mean? Abbie? That daughter? The one Felicity sat through ten hours of labor for?

Oliver: The same.

Tommy: Oh, fuck...

Oliver: Hold on. This might be Felicity again. She called earlier. (He frowns) Its Sam. Hey Sam?

Sam: (eerily ominous voice) I have something of yours.

Oliver: Sam. What. Did. You. Do.

Sam: I lifted your most precious possession. And you can't have it back.

Oliver: Give her back. Right Now.

Sam: Ooh. Scary. Is that your vigilante voice?

Oliver: Don't try my patience, hunter. Where is my daughter. 

Sam: She's safe. For now. Don't take too long finding us. I'll give you a clue. (Lowering the phone) Abbie, tell daddy where we are.

Abbie: Daddy! Me and Uncle Sam got to pet the penguins!

Oliver: That's so great sweetheart. Give Uncle Sam the phone okay princess.

Abbie: Okay daddy.

Sam: We'll be here for five more minutes. Try to hurry, Hood. (Hangs up)

Oliver: Goddamn it!

Tommy: What just happened?

Oliver: We have to get to the aquarium. Now.

AT THE AQUARIUM

Tommy: (panting) This sucks.

Oliver: Damn it! They're gone. Excuse me, (he asks a security guard) have you seen my friend? He's a giant...

Tommy: He looks like a Sasquatch. All hairy and lanky.

Oliver: ...and he had a little girl with him?

Guard: Are you (looks at a paper in his hand) the jolly green giant?

Tommy: Ha! Yes! (Hysterical laughter) Yes he is!

Oliver: That's what Sam and Abbie call me.

Guard: They said to tell you that "you're too late. They've moved on to lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my"

Tommy: But the zoo is on the complete opposite side of the city!

Oliver: They didn't go to the zoo. That's Abbie's favorite movie. 

Tommy: So they went to a movie?

Guard: They're playing the original Wizard of Oz at the theater near my house. Its their throwback Thursday. I hope that helps. Its over on Forest Ave by Slosson park.

Oliver: (as they start running away) Thanks, man! 

AT THE THEATER

Oliver: Missed them again!

Tommy: Woah. Don't punch the poster. The John Cusack movie didn't offend you. She's safe with Sam anyway. What're we doing chasing him around the city?

Oliver: Of course she's safe. But if he gets another two places he'll win! I can't let that Moose beat me!

Tommy: Come again?

Oliver: Last week I made it to four stops before he could track me and Connor.

Tommy: You did this with his kid? 

Oliver: Yes! And I hold the record. Excuse me. Have you seen my friend? Maybe he left something for me?

Candy clerk: Are you...green jellybean?

Tommy: (snickering quietly) who makes these names?

Oliver: Yeah, I am. 

Candy clerk: He said "two more and I win. Can you tell me how to get to Sesame St?" then the little girl begged him for ice cream.

Oliver: They went to the park! Lets go! Thanks!

Tommy: What park?!

Oliver: The one with the giant big bird balloons!

AT THE PARK

(Oliver and Tommy stealthily sneak up behind the Sam and Abbie. Oliver quickly scoops Abbie up into his arms. Sam is barely able to keep from punching him long enough to know that its only Oliver)

Sam: Dammit! 

Oliver: Better luck next time, Samsquatch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...?


	21. Flyers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored waiting for the OIT (office of information technology) to open my computer lab for class and there were flyers. Everywhere. For everything.

Felicity: So you put up a flyer?

Thea: That's affirmative.

Roy: Why? Am I not enough for you? What about our baby?

Thea: Roy-

Roy: What will we tell him when he's old enough?...

Thea: ...Roy-

Roy: "Sorry son. Mommy left me for some random guy..."

Felicity: Random guy who answered her flyer.

Roy: Exactly!

Thea: Shut up. Both of you. Its an experiment for class and you know it! I just want to see who answers it. Whether they're worth looking at or not. Does natural selection give better results than scientific match making?

Roy: So you also put up an online dating profile?!

Thea: Yeah. But I made myself repulsive.

Felicity: You said you like piña colodas and getting caught in the rain?

Thea: Precisely. And long walks on the beach. Yuck.

Felicity: OH MY GOD!

Thea: What? What happened?

Felicity: I hacked into your profile page and you have a message. Guess who its from.

Thea: Who?

Felicity: Hint- he's rich, handsome, and doesn't commit to relationships.

Thea: Bruce Wayne?!

Felicity: So incredibly close.

Roy: Obviously its Tommy.

Thea: Why is it obvious? Because you think he's dreamy?

Roy: ...no...

Thea: I knew you had a man crush!

Roy: Well, I wouldn't kick him out of bed.

Felicity: Probably because you pushed him into it.

Tommy: (waking down from the club) Pushed who where?

Roy: (wide eyed) No one! (He, very manly, runs from the foundry. Pushing past Tommy on the stairs)

Tommy: Careful Roy. Any closer and you'll have to buy me dinner!

Felicity and Thea burst into laughter.

XXXXX

Oliver: I put up some flyers for that stay dog.

Felicity: You mean Peaches?

Oliver: That's not his name.

Felicity: Yes it is!

Oliver: Okay, well, the toy poodle has to go back to his own home.

Felicity: But peaches loved living here! Let her stay!

Oliver: I'm pretty sure that's not a female.

Felicity: But- (the doorbell rings)

Oliver: Hello?

Sam: Hi, my name is Sam Winchester. I saw your flyer and I think you have my dog.

Felicity: Nope. No dog here.

Oliver: She's just having withdrawal pains. Come in.

Sam: Uhm, okay.

Felicity: What's the dog's name?

Sam: Uh, it's… it's Peaches.

Oliver: You've got to be kidding.

Sam: No, why?

Felicity: I knew it! You're aces, Sam!

Sam: What?

Oliver: Okay. Can you tell me what kind of collar he has? Anything so that you can prove it's your dog?

Sam: Yeah, sure. His collar has a pentagon in a circle on it. It looks like this (He lifts his shirt to show them his tattoo that rests beside his heart).

Felicity: (slightly stunned)That should prove it. Tell me that tattoo was there before you bought the collar.

Sam: I actually specially bought the collar for peaches.

Felicity: Right… I have to ask. Why would a giant like you buy such a little dog? Aren't you afraid of like, crushing it by accident?

Sam: Can you keep a secret? I only adopted the dog to freak my brother out. I was pranking him nonstop until he made a move on his best friend, they've been together unofficially for years, but only told each other they liked each other last week. Do you know what it's like to live all those years with that pent up tension around?

Felicity: (blushing) I wouldn't know…

Sam: It was unbearable. Anyway, the little guy grew on me.

Oliver: Okay, well promise never to flash my wife again and you can have your dog back.

Felicity: No! You can't have him! He's mine now!

Sam: Should I run after her? (watching with Oliver as Felicity runs down the street with Peaches in her arms)

Oliver: Nah. She's wearing her heels. She won't make it far. We can just walk.

Sam: Cool. So…nice weather…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...how 'bout that weather?


	22. Revenge is best served...in a waffle cone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver forgets Felicity's birthday so she gets back at him and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Destinyofdreams.

Felicity: Yes! I'm so excited!

Tommy: Its really not a big deal.

Felicity: Oliver forgot my birthday and now I'm going to prank him so hard! You have no idea! 

Tommy: I have some idea. I'm part of this plan, too. Which I love by the way. Its not exactly Carrie, but...

Felicity: You want me to go kinetically psycho, lock everyone inside and then set the school on fire?

Tommy: ...a little bit. Yeah.

Felicity: Me too. But I don't have super powers yet. Although I am chumming up to Lois Lane, so we'll see where Clark stands on that kind of stuff.

Tommy: I bet he's into it.

Felicity: (shaking her head) Always the quiet ones...

AT THE FOUNDRY

Tommy: Oliver! (He comes bounding down the stairs) It's Felicity! She's been (dramatic pause) Taken!

Oliver: Where. When. How. Why.

Tommy: With me on the sidewalk, some brunette in a blue mask, she knocked me in the head and grabbed Lis'! I don't know why! You have to find her!

Oliver: (hooded up) I'm leaving now. (He swiftly exits the lair)

Tommy: (answering his phone) Hey. Yeah. He just left. Phase one of Operation Aqua has begun... Yeah, I know... No. Because he's green and your wearing blue. Together you make (dramatic pause) Aqua! ... No you're stupid! ... Well, I'm rubber and you're glue everything you say... (Looking down at his phone) she hung up.

AT A SECLUDED HOUSE IN THE WOODS

Oliver is slowly creeping around the house checking for danger. He can only hear voices right now.

Felicity: You villain! You'll never get away with this!

Masked woman: (maniacal laughter) Oh, but I already have. And now, dear, for the final...crushing...blow!

Felicity: NOOO!!!!

Oliver jumps in arrow at the ready and pauses before the scene.

Masked girl: ATTITUDE! That's also a triple word score. Forty points! Muah-ha-ha!

Felicity: How did you even do that?! 

Oliver: (clears his throat) What's going on here?

Felicity: Oh! Thank God you're here Oliver! This woman is a psycho!

Masked girl: I prefer the term 'super genius'

Oliver: Who are you? And what're you doing with Felicity?

Masked girl: My name is (dramatic pause) Destinyofdreams!

Oliver: ...okay...

Felicity: She's a dastardly villain Ollie! Don't underestimate her!

Oliver: And what has she done other than give you thin mints and play scrabble with you? What makes her so... dastardly?

Felicity: Not just scrabble, Ollie! She... she... It's too horrible!

Oliver move closer to his emotional wife who had begin to rock slightly in her chair. 

Felicity: she... She makes impossible word selections! She wouldn't give me milk for my cookies! She beat me at Uno... Twice! And she... and she... SHE PROFESSOR PLUM'ED ME IN CLUE!!

Oliver: (stomping out of the room and house) I don't believe this.

Felicity: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! COME DEFEND MY HONOR!

Destinyofdreams: I don't think he's coming back...

Felicity: Rematch?

Destinyofdreams: You're going down blonde!

XXXXX The next time XXXXX

Oliver: What should we do tonight? Abbie is staying at the bunker with Sam and Dean. (He kisses her neck) Thea and Roy went away for the weekend. (He lays another kiss) We're all alone...

Felicity: I know! (She pulls away) I just bought a crossword puzzle book! You grab the ice cream while I run upstairs to get it.

Oliver: (smiling) You read my mind Smoak. Do we still have Rocky Road? 

Felicity: Yeah, I saved the rest for you.

IN THE KITCHEN

Oliver: What're you doing here?

Destinyofdreams: Is that your scary voice? This is mine; I'm eating your ice cream.

Oliver: That's Batman's voice.

Destinyofdreams: It was mine first. He's always stealing my stuff!

Oliver: Why're you in my house, sitting on my counter? Eating the last of my rocky road. And where'd that waffle cone come from?

Destinyofdreams: ...my utility belt. Don't you keep emergency waffle cones in yours?

Oliver: What?

Felicity: Oliver what's taking so...you!

Destinyofdreams: That's my cue to leave! (Pulling a smoke bomb from her belt and throwing it to the ground) I'm a ninja! 

Felicity: (coughing) I can see you climbing trough the window. 

Destinyofdreams: Ninja!


	23. For a Rainy Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to keep our spirits up :)

Scene: Oliver walks into the kitchen sleepily rubbing his eyes. 

Oliver: Morning.

Destinyofdreams: (sing song) Morning sleepyhead.

Oliver: Coffee?

Destinyofdreams: On the counter (her legs swing through the air as she sits on the counter underneath the window sipping from her own coffee mug)

Oliver: Where is my- (he looks at the "worlds best dad" mug in her hands and sighs). Why're you always taking my things? 

Destinyofdreams: Because you pout when I do.

Oliver: I do not-

Felicity: (sleepily comes in shuffling her feet) You're pouting. That can only mean (she turns to see the masked villain sitting on her counter) Morning D^2. 

Destinyofdreams: Morning. 

Felicity: (mutters under her breath) married a superhero and friended a supervillain. Call me Clark, I must be in Smallville. Wait. Where's all the bacon?

Destinyofdreams: It wasn't me! 

Felicity: Goddamn it Teej!

Destinyofdreams: (throws down a smokebomb from her utility belt then crawls through the window shouting) Ninja!

Felicity: (coughing through the smoke) That won't always work!

XXXXX

Tommy: Look at this! (Lifts his shirt to show a large bruise coloring his chest)

Roy: Bar fight?

Tommy: No, it was-

Felicity: You saw a leprechaun and called him short?!

Tommy: No, its from-

Roy: You went to the museum, but the exhibits came to life just as you were mocking a caveman so he clubbed you in the ribs?!

Felicity: A goat headbutted you?!

Roy: An emu chased you down and you fell on a rock?!

Felicity: You fell out of a tree climbing it to get your kite back?!

Roy: You didn't pay up to the Russian mafia when you lost at blackjack?!

Felicity: Lucy pulled the football back?!

Roy: Snoopy hit you as the flying ace?!

Tommy: No! My girlfriend kicks in her sleep and bruised my ribs!

Roy and Felicity: (mumbling) oh, yeah. That makes more sense...

XXXXX

Thea: Why do birds fly?

Oliver: Because they want to feel that freedom of an open sky. There's nothing around to stop them from living their lives anyway that they see fit. Up in the sky everything seems miniscule in relation. 

Felicity: Actually, its because they have hollow wings that allow flight. This way they can escape ground predators who threaten to eat them wiping them from existence. Its an evolutionary distinction.

Thea: But your answer was nice, too, Ollie.

XXXXX

Tommy: I'm bored.

Felicity: Me too.

Tommy: What're you doing?

Felicity: Wasting my life reading Tumblr posts. How about you?

Tommy: Same. 

Felicity: Ha! Look at this one. "If two vegetarians fight, is it still called beef?" 

Tommy: (snorts) What an idiot. Who spends their time thinking about stuff like that?

Roy: (enters from the left) Hey guys?

Tommy and Felicity (in unison): yeah?

Roy: If our eyes register everything upside down before it sends the signals flipped inside our brains, does that mean that we're all upside down but we don't realize it?

Tommy: (stunned face) ...I don't know...

Felicity: And another thing; why do we all assume to be right side up if the Earth is a circle? By definition some people have to be upside down and others right side up...

Tommy, Felicity, and Roy all sigh mouthing "huh". Felicity looks back to her computer for a moment before she starts laughing hysterically.

Felicity: Someone just posted a picture of a kitten wearing a Green Arrow costume!

Tommy and Roy push each other to see it first. Intellectual moment over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can message me on tumblr at lettersbymail. Or you can send me a comment on here :) Let me know if anyone has an idea for more chapters! The sillier the better.


	24. Promptly filled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had prompts...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, HatedInnocence03 gave me amazing promtps that immediately hit me with the inspiration stick. And then Destinyofdreams made a reference to something and I just, honestly, couldn't control myself. Nothing makes sense.

Xx Prompt: Fangirls trapping Oliver Xx

Oliver: (distorted Arrow voice) Oh god-

Felicity: Oliver, what is it?

Oliver: No, I can't...really...

Felicity: What is happening? Oliver talk to me!

Oliver: Listen, I have to go.

Tommy: What is happening, Lis'?

Felicity: I don't know. Oliver is on patrol but he isn't answering me. And he sounds disgruntled.

Oliver: Do you want me to break your phone? 

Tommy: What the hell? Can you pull up surrounding video cameras?

Felicity: Already on it. Annnnd, there we go. Wait, is that...?

Tommy: Sweet Mother of Jesus. I think it is. It can only be one thing-

Felicity: That hussy is trying to take a selfie with the Arrow! (Staring intently at the screen) Can you tell if she's blonde? She has to be.

Tommy: (incredulously glancing at Felicity) Uhm, you know what color YOUR hair is, right?

Felicity: I dye my hair. 

Tommy: Because that explains everything.

ON THE STREET CORNER

Hussy: Come on, please? I need it for my special lady friend. She absolutely adores you!

Oliver: I'm sorry Miss. I can't do that. I'm sure you can figure out why.

Hussy: But she'll be so disappointed. Please?! We've been best friends for 7 years! She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She saved me from wasted years of drugs and men, this is the least that I can do for her.

Oliver: I can see that she's special to you, but I can't just...

(A little girl, about seven years old comes running up to the Hussy shouting "MOM". She stops dead in her tracks when she sees the Arrow. And Oliver can't help remembering that his daughter is about that age)

Oliver: (crouches where he stands on the sidewalk and beckons the little girl over to him) What's your name honey?

Hillary: It's Hillary. You're the Arrow! You're a Superhero!

Oliver: That's right, it is. Do you have a superhero name?

Hillary: (shakes her head no) No, I'm not a hero.

Oliver: I'm not either. But I'll call you the Hill-Inator. You can be a hero by keeping your mom out of trouble. You'll take care of her, right?

(Hillary nods enthusiastically while Oliver stands asking for a pen. He signs the little girls book with the word "Green" above a picture of an arrow before he jumps to the nearest fire escape and disappears out of sight)

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER

Oliver: I wish that it didn't have to be like this. Turn yourself over, Hillary.

Hillary: I'm HatedInnocence now. And I'm not going anywhere, Arrow (she cackles as she goes in for the punishing blow)

Oliver: (stares stunned) How could you do this to me?

Abbie: Oh my god. Both of you need to take a chill pill. It's only Monopoly.

Oliver: But she board blocked me!

HatedInnocence: And I got Reading Railroad! Muah-ha-ha-ha!

Felicity: You're such dorks. I already have Boardwalk. So, you all lose anyway. (Under her breath) Suckers.

Xx Prompt: but what about something that involves felicity, tommy, a rubber ducky, and an orangutan wearing lipstick? Xx

Tommy: It's not what it looks like! 

Felicity: I promise I can explain. 

Tommy: You're-- you're going to laugh when I tell you what happened. Heh...

Oliver: Everyone stop. How about we start with the hundred pound orangutan in the room. 

Felicity: The expression is five hundred pound gorilla...

Tommy: I think he meant the actual orangutan.

Felicity: Oh, the one on the couch...

Oliver: Yeah. The one wearing lipstick.

Felicity: (audibly gulps) Funny story. It's all Tommy's fault! (She sticks her finger to the left gesturing to him) 

Tommy: (gives an indignant squawk) Its your fault for suggesting that I use my imagination!

Felicity: No! You should have-

Oliver: Enough! Begin from the top. Now.

Tommy: Thea was telling me about the game that she played with Felicity while I was away so we decided unanimously, to play together.

Oliver: You didn't. The dare game?! 

Felicity: (sheepishly looking to her feet) ...maybe... Okay, yes! So, Tommy made me dress like Xena Warrior Princess. 

Oliver: Is that what this bronze loincloth thing is?

Tommy: Yeah. So then she made me...she made me...chase Roy until I caught him-

Oliver: I don't get it. What's so wrong with that?

Tommy: -and kiss him.

Oliver: (after a moment of silent contemplation) And did you?

Tommy: (smirking) It was the best kiss of his life. But I've had better. 

Felicity: Yeah you have! (High fives Tommy)

Oliver: ...Okay. This explains the green hair on my wife, the orange tan on my best friend's neck, the fact that there is a noticeable lack of pants on Tommy--which I won't ask about. But where did the orangutan come from? 

Tommy: I dared Felicity to heist her from the Zoo. 

Felicity: And when I schooled him at it, I dared him to put makeup on her. 

Tommy: And I did! Bam! 

Oliver: So...where did the rubber duck come from?

(Felicity and Tommy look at each other confused) In unison: What the hell?

(A smoke bomb goes off near the kitchen doorway)

Destinyofdreams: Ninja! 

Felicity: Teej, you left that duck?! How'd you get it in here?! 

Destinyofdreams: I did because I'm a ninja! 

HatedInnocence: She's a liar! I left that duck here!

Tommy: Where did you even come from?

HatedInnocence: The skylight, where else? Don't ask stupid questions. 

Oliver: (walking back out of the house) What happened to my life?

Felicity: Quick come back! D^2 just pulled out HI's weave! 

Tommy: I thought her hair was real! Where'd you get that done?! (He shudders) Tell me after you let Teej out of that headlock.

 

Xx Prompt: roy getting a concussion and waking up thinking he's the little mermaid, with disney songs and all? Xx

Felicity: I'm so worried.

Tommy: He's a fighter, he'll make it. 

Thea: He has to wake up. It's been three hours.

Diggle: I'm with Tommy. He'll pull through. It's only a waiting game now. 

TWO HOURS LATER

(Roy jumps up with a start, heaving heavy breaths. His left hand comes up shakily slow to lightly touch his throat)

Thea: (wide eyed) What is happening?

Diggle: (equally shocked) I believe he's doing vocal scales.

Tommy: But why?

Roy: (looking around the cavernous looking lair) Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat. (He stands on shaky legs walking to the next table touching an arrow head to his finger) Wouldn't you think my collections complete?

Tommy: Wait is he...

Felicity: Oh god. He is! 

Thea: You turned him into the Little Mermaid! Change him back! Or make him Flynn Rider! 

Felicity: Oh, Eugene. Now there is a Prince.

Thea: Damn straight.

Diggle: I didn't think it was possible, but you just made this weirder. 

Oliver: (walks in) Hey. How's Roy?

Roy: Who is this guy I see? Staring straight, back at me. Why is my reflection someome I don't know?

Tommy: He's a one man Disney Medley.

Felicity: Do the Lion King!

Roy: (looks over to her, like he's confused, but he complies involuntarily) It's clear from your vacant expressions. The lights are not all on upstairs. But we're talking kings and successions. Even you can't be caught unawares

Oliver: What's that supposed to mean?!

Tommy: Ooh. Thems' be fightin' words.

Thea: I can't handle this. (A thought strikes her and she visibly brightens) Oh god. Sing Tangled.

Roy: (staring intently at Thea, slowly walking over to stand before her) And at last I see the light. And its like the fog has lifted-

Thea: Everyone else leave! Right now! You don't want to see what happens next.

(Walking up the stairs Felicity whispers to the others): That was not in the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you. The sillier, the better!


	25. Morning Commute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver: (walks in from the stairs making everyone go silent, even Digg's laughter) Why is it that no one ever works down here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me explain the title: every morning I listen to the radio on my commute to campus. I'm super into Sum 41 radio right now. So each of these scenes contains lyrics to a different song. If you leave me a comment with at least 2 of the song titles, I'll write you anything that your heart desires. It'll be all for you with any prompt and pairing you'd fancy. Good luck!
> 
> If you don't feel like doing it then I hope you enjoy the chapter all the same!
> 
> Thank you oodles to all of you reading.

Scene: Oliver visits Felicity in her apartment after he sneaks away from whatever terrible thing the League has him doing. He just wanted to see her alive and safe, but she caught him there.

Oliver: You are not listening to me. This will never start. I'll tear us apart. Can I be your enemy?

Felicity: I wasted half a year waiting for you here; I'll be your anything!

Oliver: You don't know what you're saying. You have no idea of the terrible things I have to do for the League.

Felicity: I've never thought of you as the villain Oliver. Why is it that you are the only person who doesn't understand that? (Her voice cracks in anger and sadness) Everything that you do, every decision that you've made since you came back three years ago has been for the benefit of everyone else. Once in a while it's okay to be selfish. (Tears begin to fall on her cheeks) You deserve to be safe and happy too.

Oliver: (stands just close enough to wipe the tears from her face) If I were allowed to be happy, you will be the first selfish decision I make.

Felicity: (eyes closed she jumps up to hug him tight) When you're allowed to be selfish, I'll be the best decision you make.

Oliver: (kisses the top of her head lovingly) I know you will.

XXXXX

Scene: Roy lost a bet with Dig and Tommy so he has to spend the day wearing a long fur coat, furry pink hat, and using a long stick to walk with a gawdy diamond on the end. Now they're teasing him in the foundry when Felicity and Thea enter.

Felicity: Wow, um, what's (she gestures to Roy's fluffy pimp hat) going on here?

Thea: That had better be faux fur on that coat! What am I saying, it's probably real knowing you pigs. How could you do that? Fur is murder and you-

Tommy: Chill out, Nancy Grace. It's fake. 

Thea: Good, cause I would've kicked your ass. 

Felicity: So...I'm still wondering who let you leave your apartment like that. 

Digg: (smirking at Felicity while pointing to Roy) He may not have a clue and he may not have style, but everything he lacks, well, he makes up in denial.

(Tommy begins humming a tune at Digg's words. Felicity, with a bright smile, nods at Thea who shares the same mischievous look before they begin dancing between Roy and Tommy)

Felicity and Thea: Give it to me baby...

Tommy: (cups his hands around his mouth to shout) Uh-huh, uh-huh...

Felicity and Thea: Give it to me baby...

Tommy: Uh-huh, uh-huh...

Roy: But all the girls say-

Oliver: (walks in from the stairs making everyone go silent, even Digg's laughter) Why is it that no one ever works down here?

XXXXX

Scene: Tommy and Felicity are life-long best friends reunited after three years apart for a mutual friends wedding. Neither of them know anything about the vigilantes identities. Green Arrow has been kind of stalking her though, and by default so have his crew. The two friends are playing a game in her kitchen when some unexpected visitors begin to show up.

Felicity: (hands Tommy a beer and opens one for herself, sitting at the table) I almost got drunk at school at 14, where I almost made out with Charlie, the homecoming queen.

Tommy: I almost held up a grocery store, where I almost did five years and then seven more. 

Arsenal: (jumps into a front flip through the open kitchen window) You did what?

Tommy: (jumps in surprise at the sudden appearance) Holy shit. How'd you do that?

Arsenal: ...I jumped?

Tommy: That window is three feet off the ground. That shit is Olympic worthy! (turns to Felicity) Do ninjas often jump through your window in red leather? If so, how may I acquire such a service?

Felicity: (rolls her eyes unimpressed, but smiles at her friend) Is there something you wanted, Arsenal? 

Arsenal: Miss Smoak, are you friends with criminals? He's not going to like that.

Felicity: It's a game we used to play. We each say something increasingly ridiculous for our personalities. The crazier the better. My turn; I almost got popped for a fight with a thug 'cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs.

Arsenal: Oh, I get it. 

Speedy: (slides down a zipchord on the skylight) What's the threat? Is it him? (She points her weapon at Tommy)

Felicity: Calm down, Speedy. This is my friend Tommy. We're just playing a game. He is NOT a criminal.

Speedy: (visibly relaxes moving her weapon to holster it) Good. I was really worried when he called for backup.

Felicity: (shakes her head) Tommy these are the stalking vigilantes that I told you about. I don't know why they follow me, but they are constantly there and keeping me safe.

Tommy: It's nice to meet you finally. And I must say that I'm flattered. The man in leather called the girl in leather to take me down. Those gym visits must be working.

Felicity: (smiles at Tommy) Oh, they are, you studmuffin. 

Tommy: Don't you forget it (he smiles lecherously holding her hand to kiss in mock sincerity) 

Freelancer: (comes in the back door looking aghast) Oh, shit. You aren't dating this guy are you? 

Felicity: Hey John! No, why? (As she asks Green Arrow enters through the living room door looking very angry) Arsenal! Did you call everyone? (She scolds)

Green Arrow: (growls) Let go of her. 

Tommy: (stands still holding her hand causing Green Arrow to aim an arrow at him) I don't take orders from you.

Felicity: (stands to move between Tommy and Green Arrow. She holds both hands up to calm him down) It's okay. (She speaks softly as everyone watches them in awe) This is my friend Tommy. I told you about him, remember?

Green Arrow: He lives in Canada for work.

Felicity: (a small smile crosses her lips at his memory) yeah. And I miss him when he's away. He wouldn't hurt me.

Tommy: It'd be impossible.

Green Arrow: (lowers his bow) Alright. Everyone out. (He pats Arsenal on the shoulder in thanks as the boy heads to climb back out the window) It was nice to meet you, Tommy. A pleasure as always Miss Smoak (he smiles).

Felicity: (stares at her crush about to head out the window also. When Tommy nudges her shoulder she hastily calls out) You can stay. You know if you want to. I mean if its something you might want to do. You could stay here, anytime, if, you know, cause...I'm not saying real words anymore...

Green Arrow: (swings his legs back inside, meeting her in the middle of the room. His hands caress her face as he whispers) I promise, soon, I'll tell you everything (with a quick kiss to her lips he is back on the windowsill headed to work) Always a pleasure Felicity.

Felicity: (turns to Tommy smiling) My turn; I almost thought about marrying an arrow wielding vigilante. 

Tommy: I almost asked if he has a friend for me. 

XXXXX

Scene: Felicity is a twenty-two year old runaway who has been working as a prostitute on the streets of Starling city since she was seventeen. 

Felicity: I never saw a man who looked so all alone. Could you use a little company? 

Oliver: Excuse me? 

Felicity: (stepping awkwardly into his space to put her hands on his chest) If you pay the right price your evening will be nice then you can go and send me on my way.

Oliver: (removing her hands from his body) How old are you sixteen? You're such a sweet young thing, why would you do this to yourself?

Felicity: There ain't no rest for the wicked. Money doesn't grow on trees. I've got bills to pay and mouths to feed, there ain't nothing in this world for free. I can't slow down, I can't step back, though I wish I could.

Oliver: How much is it for the night?

Felicity: A standard hour is four hundred. 

Oliver: So eleven hours would be 4400. I'll take it.

Felicity: (eyes going wide) Are you sure? That seems a little over confident.

Oliver: (smiling) I don't want to have sex with you.

Felicity: Oh, (frowning) then what do you want? That fifty shades shit is soooo much extra...you couldn't afford it if you were Oliver Queen.

Oliver: I am Oliver Queen.

Felicity: No, you're not. Listen if you aren't interested I need to move on (she moves to walk away)

Oliver: I'm very interested. (He says gently holding her arm to keep her from running) But I don't want sex. Not yet. Just dinner. Have you eaten today?

Felicity: (her stomach growls) Not since breakfast. I'm Felicity.

Oliver: Is that your real name?

Felicity: Yeah. What's yours, (she makes air quotes) Mr. Queen?

Oliver: (pulls out his driver's license) It's Oliver Queen (he smiles)

 

XXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you catch any songs? How were the scenes?


	26. A Mish I've Moshed

Scene: Oliver, Thea and Tommy are in the kitchen playing a game like they used to when Thea was younger.

Oliver: Cow

Thea: Chicken

Oliver: Cutlery

Thea: Celery

Oliver: Cantaloupe

Thea: Carrier

Felicity: (walks into the kitchen) What is happening here?

Tommy: (smiling like a bandit) They've been trying to out stage each other for half an hour saying words that start with the letter C. 

Oliver: Cigar

Thea: Candelabrum

Oliver: Clicker

IN THE KITCHEN 15 MINUTES LATER

Thea: ...I-I don't have one. No! 

Oliver: Yes! 

Tommy: The green bandit strikes again!

X X X X X 

IN VERDANT AT THE BAR

Sarah: I'm hungry.

Felicity: Hungry for justice?!

Sarah: Tacos.

Thea: Me too. 

Oliver: You can't go to that shop anymore. 

Thea: You're just angry because they treat Felicity like royalty.

Oliver: It's unnerving.

Thea: Cough, cough, jealous, cough... Oh, I must be coming down with something.

Sarah: What? Why do they like Felicity?

Felicity: (gasps indignantly then dramatically flips her hair) Why wouldn't they?

Tommy: It's because she serenaded the entire restaurant. 

Thea: It was great until Oliver killed the mood.

Tommy: That's what she said!

X X X X X 

IN THE FOUNDRY

Thea: So bored. Contemplating murder for fun.

Tommy: Who are we killing?

Sarah: No one!

Thea: Maybe Helen McLaren. She used to bully me in high school.

Oliver: That seems a little vindictive, Speedy.

Thea: Not really. She used to make fun of our family because you died.

Sarah: She. Did. What?

Thea: Yeah. She used to say we were nothing but broken trash.

Tommy: Oliver, do you keep extra suits?

Oliver: Grab Ted's outfit and meet me outside in ten.

Tommy: I'll be there in five. The loser wears a ski mask.

Thea: Wait...no...guys...

Oliver, Tommy, and Sarah: (busily hurry to scare the cheap perfume off this bully)

Thea: Guys!

Oliver: What?

Thea: Let me grab my bow staff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously need prompts for this because this story keeps me fun. Thanks for reading and hopefully commenting.


	27. Hell to Pay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Flipflops, you know what you did.

X X X X X X X X X X X 

Scene: In an alternate reality where Felicity is an angel who was granted a human life on Earth after saving the world from the Apocalypse. Yes, Cas is her best friend. Now she is in her alter room in the back of her house hidden from everyone without grace, praying to her Father.

Felicity: Dear Father, thank you for all of the gifts that I have received. I am extremely grateful for being allowed to live on Earth, and more importantly for allowing me to live in the Arrow universe, to have my own free will. There is only one question that I would like to ask; why me? Why would you send this human to me? Is this punishment for something that I've done?

God: (descends from Heaven looks baffled at her) I don't understand my child. You asked for your own Oliver Queen.

Felicity: Haven't you gotten to season 3, yet?

God: (looks down at his hands embarrassed) Something came up with a den of demons and I'm only on the second half of season (muffles indistinctly)

Felicity: (puts her hand behind her ear in gesture) What was that?

God: (throws hands up exasperated) I'm only on Season 1, okay?! 

Felicity: (looking shocked) I don't want pre-island! And I certainly don't want to have recent post island Oliver! He's cheating on me with his ex! (Sighs frustrated)

God: (puts a hand on her shoulder in comfort) I'm sure it'll settle itself. Just wait until Tommy pulls him through. Now there's a strapping man. You should've asked for him.

Felicity: (pulls away angrily) Damn it, God! Get with the times Old Man! (tears up) You need to finish season 1. Something happens to Tommy.

God: (fists his hands angrily. Thunder can be heard in the distance) What Happens To Tommy? 

Felicity: (looks on with trepidation at her mistake) I-I um, I don't want to spoil anything for you...

God: (dark clouds begin to form as an eerily calm voice speaks) What has happened to my favorite character?

Felicity: (sighs) He dies as a plot tool to further Oliver's character development.

(God closes his eyes and concentrates for a moment)

Castiel: (appears from thin air) You called for me Father.

God: Yes, I have a special mission for you.

Castiel: Anything.

God: Visit with the producers of the show Arrow. Tommy must be resurrected. Until such time as this is complete, you must punish them with my wrath.

Castiel: Does this include a plague of locusts?

God: Keep it contained to the studio. And nothing is to be done to Emily Bett or there will be Hell to pay.

Castiel: Yes, Father (he disappears)

Felicity: So...does this mean I can have an updated Oliver?

God: Yes, you may have whoever season 3 Oliver is. (Disappears as well)

Felicity: (fist pumps, jumps around in excitement, calms herself, smooths her hair and takes a deep breath before leaving the alter room) Oh, Oliver? 

Oliver: Yeah, Lis? 

Felicity: I don't want to keep you in this relationship if there is someone between us. 

Oliver: You are the only woman I could ever love. I'm happy when I'm with you and that's (he takes a breath, looks to the wall and back to her eyes) that's new for me. I want you, Felicity. And only you. (They kiss and he pulls back with their foreheads together) If we don't leave soon, we'll be late for lunch with Tommy.

Felicity: (smiles) Let's not keep him waiting then. (When he turns around she mutters) Damn, Cas works fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I'll write anything. Comments?


	28. This was not what I intended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver: I had no idea you could river dance. 
> 
> Felicity: Learned when I was four. I used to be a tap dancer but I kept falling into the sink. 
> 
> Oliver: (smiling) Very funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was prompted by AmySaran2000-- who this is dedicated to-- "Prompt ; Team arrow ft Sara and Tommy. The team can't find Felicity so they track her phone. The end up in a studio where they learn Felicity has extensive dance training"

Scene: Team Arrow has grown so much larger than its original members. After an operation is blown by one of the newer members tension grows, causing a yearly competition to be born. This year's "Vigilante Games" has team Kicking Assets (Oliver, Diggle and Felicity) geared up to protect their two year streak against Ninja's WetDream --Tommy's idea--(Roy, Sara, and Thea). Everyone is set to go, meeting in the foundry, except that no one can find Felicity. 

Tommy: (sitting back in a chair next to Felicity's work station, feet propped up on a desk, twirling a pencil through his fingers in a repetitious action) Where is the brains behind Kicking Assets? How can I host these games without her sassy commentary?

Sara: (leaning against a nearby rail to Tommy's left, elbows stationed behind her back) I'm not sure. I tried calling her but she isn't answering. 

Thea: (sitting in Felicity's chair next to Tommy, phone in hand) Why didn't you guys ride here together? 

Oliver: (Pacing the length of space in front of the costume cases) She left before me this morning. There was a note on the table that said she'd meet me here after she ran a quick errand. 

Thea: I'm going to call Cisco. He put trackers in the watches he gave us for Christmas. (Puts phone on speaker as they all listen to it ring three times) 

Cisco: Hey, Speedy what's up? 

Thea: Hey Vibe. You're on speaker with the team. 

Cisco: (chuckles) Funny, so are you. 

Sara: Can you track Felicity's location? She was supposed to meet us but hasn't shown up yet. 

Cisco: No problem (keys clacking can be heard vaguely in the background). Taking down a bad guy? 

Tommy: (smirking) More like taking down each other. Today is the Vigilante Games. 

Cisco: (the clacking stops) What is that and why was I not invited? 

Diggle: Every year we break into teams and kick each others asses at various things. 

Barry: (indignant) How could you not invite Team Flash? I thought we were friends? 

Captain Cold: (disbelieving) Please tell me you don't refer to yourselves that way. 

Oliver: (calm assessing voice) Is that Snart? Barry is everything okay over there? 

Cisco: Everything is fine. Cold is here because he's Barry's--

Barry: (slightly panicked) My trainer! He's helping me train for...something. Totally normal here. 

Sara: (understanding dawns on her. She seductively teases) You should have asked me to help you train Barry. I am more experienced. 

Tommy: (playing along) You know, I have some moves that could be satisfactory, too, Barry. 

Captain Cold: (drawling) Thanks for the offers, but I'm all the trainer Barry needs these days. 

Barry: (embarrassment leaking into his tone) Oh my god, people, stop. 

Thea: (innocently) But there's always room for more trainers isn't there Barry? 

Cisco: Alright, alright. If everyone is done flirting with Barry, I do have a location for Felicity. Although I wish you could see the scowl on Cold's face right now. 

Oliver: Where is my wife, Cisco? 

Cisco: It's going to sound crazy. She's at 42 Wallabee way on the corner of Sydney. And who owns the property? Phillip Sherman. 

Roy: You're saying Felicity is at P. Sherman 42 Wallabee way off Sydney? Are you joking right now? (disbelieving eyes turn his way) From Finding Nemo? Really? Get cultured, people. 

Diggle: What is she doing there? 

Cisco: It seems to be a dance studio. According to the website they're holding auditions there for a new movie production of Rent. 

Sara: Is there something we're missing here? 

Oliver: (sighs) Let's go down there. 

Roy: In suits? 

Oliver: No, in support. 

(At the dance studio after they watch Felicity score herself an important background role in the movie) 

Tommy: I had no idea that you could pull Hip Hop moves like that! (tries to imitate a coordinated arm and hip move that only serves to slap Sara in the face) 

Sara: (menacing) I'm counting to five and then I'm going to beat your ass. One. Two... 

Felicity: (Smiling with an awed expression) I haven't seen Tommy run that fast since we broke into the zoo. 

Thea: You did what? 

Sara: Five! (She gives chase toward the parking lot) 

Oliver: (laces their fingers together) Why didn't you tell me you were auditioning? I would've come to cheer you on. 

Felicity: I would've tanked if I knew you were there. I don't do well in front of people I know. 

Oliver: I had no idea you could river dance. 

Felicity: Learned when I was four. I used to be a tap dancer but I kept falling into the sink. 

Oliver: (smiling) Very funny. 

Thea: (smiles as she jumps on Felicity's back with her arms around her neck and legs circling her slim waist) Well, I thought you were amazing! But I have a vastly important question. (her face becomes the definition of serious) Is the hokey pokey truly what it's all about? 

Felicity: (serious as ever) It is life. 

Diggle: You're both ridiculous. 

Thea: (Laughing) In any case, you have to teach me some of those moves. 

Diggle: (snickering) Then you can show them to Barry, right Thea? 

Thea: (laughs and takes one hand off the safety of Felicity to high five him) Yes! 

Felicity: (Looks to Oliver confused) What did I miss? 

Oliver: (chuckling) You have to call Barry later. But not until after the games. 

Tommy: (panting as he and Sara wait at the car) We should invite them. The more the dirtier, I always say. 

Felicity: That's not the saying (shrugs Thea off of her back) 

Oliver: And yet it still fits. 

Thea: If we're switching up teams then I want Captain Cold! 

Tommy: I don't think the Flash would allow it. 

Thea: I'm calling Cisco again! (Holds her phone to her ear waiting for Cisco to pick up) Pack your bags. You're in the games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I began writing with the best intentions, but I am not sure how well I actually made it work. Please let me know.


	29. Hamburgler counts as a criminal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:What if you could only sleep 5 hours a night but you could craft and control your dreams? Xx

Scene: Felicity and Tommy are in the foundry acting as traffic controllers for the various fighting vigilantes. It's a normal night of ordinary, low risk criminals.

Tommy: My turn (his chair swivels playfully to look at Felicity as she finishes typing) What if you could only sleep 5 hours a night but you could craft and control your dreams?

Felicity: (thinking pensively for a moment) Definitely. My dreams now are so out of control. It's disturbing to be honest. 

Thea: (grunting can be heard over the coms) What do you mean by out of control? 

Oliver: (shallow breaths coming over coms) Last night it was like a night terror. She kicked me in the face trying to get away from something. 

Tommy: Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? 

Felicity: (groans with her face in her hand) It's more embarrassing than anything else. I was running from a giant cheeseburger trying to eat me... 

Thea: Excuse me? (a zip tie being fastened can be heard) 

Tommy: (looks seriously at her with a lifted brow) But were his pickles showing? 

Sara: (smirks) Or was he throwing them like ninja stars? 

Felicity: okay, guys, I get it...

Tommy: I bet that mustard been terrifying! 

Felicity: Very funny... 

Sara: As long as he didn't ketchup. 

Diggle: Seriously, Felicity, you cheddar be careful. 

Felicity: (gasps) Et tu, Dig? Arrow, are you going to let them talk to me that way? 

Oliver: (hiding his amusement from his voice) That's enough teasing guys. We've all had killer sesame seed dreams before.

Roy: (a grunt sounds and the crunch of a fist connecting to facial tissue) One time (labored breath) I had a dream that the hamburgler was hiding in my closet and waiting to (another grunt) slice me open and suck my insides through a straw. 

Tommy: (aghast) That's a disgusting milkshake. 

Sara: I don't know if this is because of the pit or just because my body is strange, but I'm really craving a burger and shake right now. Does anyone want anything from the diner? I'll pick it up on my way in. 

Tommy: (disgusted) How can you think about food after that? 

Felicity: (excitedly) Cherry pie! (Tommy gives her a disbelieving look) What? I've got to keep my strength up in case that burger comes back tonight.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone remember watching that scene in Arthur when you were younger? When Binky is haunted by nightmares of cheeseburgers chasing him?


	30. Everything is RENT

Scene: Barry has the pleasure of seeing RENT for the first time and can’t stop singing the soundtrack. No one will let him live it down when Iris spreads a rumor of listening to him belt it out from the other room as he was showering. Everyone is in Star Labs following a late night of partying for Cisco’s birthday the night before. 

Felicity: We’re not going to pay-

Thea: We’re not going to pay-

Tommy: We’re not going to pay-

Felicity, Thea and Tommy in unison: We’re not going to pay last year’s rent, this year’s rent, next year’s rent! We’re not going to pay rent. Because everything is rent!

Barry: (furrows brow) Really guys?

Cisco: Is this any way to show your love? 

Iris: 525,600 minutes how do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

Barry: You too, Iris?

Len: You’ve got to, got to remember the love. 

Lisa: Measure your life in love!

Barry: (drops head into his hands) I’m never talking to any of you again. And you Mister (points a disapproving finger at Len) can just foil your own plans. When you get home afterward you can sleep on the couch too, buddy. 

Len: Come on Barry. Take me for what I am. Who I was meant to be.

Barry: (throws his hands up in defeat) Guess I’m leaving. I’m gone. (Walks toward the door)

Len: (shouts to Barry with a smile) Oh honey bear! Are you still my, my, my baby?!

Barry: (flips everyone laughing the finger)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could do more. Let me know :)


	31. The road to Hell

Scene: While sitting in the kitchen for breakfast one morning Oliver works on his crossword.

Oliver: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. 

Felicity: (sets her mug down on the counter) Where the Hell did that come from? (smiles) See what I did there?

Thea: (Walks into the kitchen from the stairs) Who is going to Hell?

Oliver: (twirls the pen in his hand between his fingers) Well—

Felicity: (ignores Oliver) Me. And you. And Oliver. And the Pope. Basically everyone with good intentions.

Oliver: (frowns at being ignored) That’s not exactly—

Thea: (ignores Oliver) If everyone with good intentions is paving their way to Hell wouldn’t that suggest that the villains we fight go to the opposite of Hell? Am I in the wrong profession? 

Oliver: (gives up to look back down to his newspaper)

Felicity: (looks pensively at the tabletop where her phone rests) I don’t know. Should we consult an expert? 

Oliver: (puts the newspaper down on the table) Guys, I was just doing the crossword puzzle. The clue was 'paved of good intentions'.

Thea: (ignores Oliver) Make the call.

Felicity: Hey Barry. Where’s Captain Cold I have to ask him an important question.

XXXXX XXXXX

Scene: Roy and Felicity are in the Arrow cave, one is working out and the other is researching some evidence they pulled off a drug dealer to find the head distributor. This is when Tommy enters bounding excitedly toward the computer terminal. 

Tommy: You’ll never believe what I found today!

Roy: A personality? 

Tommy: (pouting unimpressed) Ha ha very funny. (brightly brandishing a comic book) A flash comic book! 

Felicity: (wheels her chair around quickly) Stop! What?

Tommy: I know! Look! (hands the book over turned on a vibrant illustration of the Flash, arm pointed out toward Captain Cold) 

Roy: (looks over Felicity’s shoulder) Wow. That’s pretty detailed. (as Captain Cold) We’ve got to stop meeting like this Flash. 

Felicity: (as Barry reading his lines) Give it up, Cold! Villain’s never win. 

Roy: (as Captain Cold) That’s where you’re wrong, Flash. I’m not a villain. I’m an entrepreneur. Do you plan to imprison all capitalists? 

Tommy: It really is a nerd comic! 

Felicity: If we’re being technical, he’s totally right. See a niche and fill it. That’s capitalism. 

Roy: Without villains there isn’t a need for Heroes. . 

Tommy: (snatches his book back) Well, that got deep quickly. I’m going to mock Barry now. 

Felicity: Wait, I’m coming with you! 

Roy: (pulls out his phone ignoring the other two exit) Are there Green Arrow comics?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a line :)
> 
> Come on guys; hit me baby, one more time.


	32. Things I'd do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is crazy stupid. I need prompts to make myself feel better guys. Help a stranger out.

Scene: Teams Arrow and Flash all gather to unwind once a month. In the backyard at Oliver and Felicity’s house for Sunday brunch.

Tommy: (sips his coffee casually) Did you guys see Prison Break last night? 

Felicity: (drops the fork full of quiche halfway from her mouth) Did I!

Oliver: (rolls his eyes) Damn it Tommy. 

Thea: What’d you think? I thought it dragged a little. I’m happy and everything, don’t get me wrong, but narratively there were plot holes. 

Cisco: (around a mouthful of bagel) Amen. Don’t get me started. 

Tommy: But it was great aesthetically. I’m a sucker for a good montage and they were full of flashback montages. 

Felicity: First of all! Lincoln ended up back as a street punk after all the shit Michael did for him?

Cisco: How the fuck was his body well enough for them to bury after there was the explosion? 

Felicity: And! (she shouts, her fork pointing at Cisco enthusiastically) why did they move his body from Panama where it was originally buried? 

Oliver: (sips some coffee) Not to mention they changed his headstone date to 2010. 

Roy: Maybe that was part of Michael’s plan? The grave, I mean. 

Barry: That’s what I was thinking. We all know that he had that name sewed into his coat pocket and has been using it himself. 

Oliver: That’s five years later than the original and it must have been done purposely because the timeline is supposed to take place eight years later.

Tommy: But it’s so good to see everyone again. 

Felicity: Ahh, the things I’d do with Wentworth Miller… 

Oliver: Excuse me? 

Tommy: Calm down Ollie. Can you blame her? 

Felicity: We’d talk all night long. 

Tommy: What? 

Felicity: I wouldn’t force myself on him! I just want to be friends. 

Tommy: Go for walks in the park. 

Roy: Set up fireworks and blame them on Tommy. 

Iris: Bury bodies in the forest late at night. 

Barry: Have an intense treasure hunt. 

Quentin: You are all losers. 

Barry: For wanting to hang out with a stranger that none of us know because he's handsome and obviously fun? 

Quentin: You're not helping yourself. 

Thea: Hey guys. (every eye turns to her) Does anyone else think he looks just like Len? 

Len: (silently looks back at all the eyes staring at him drinking coffee) 

Cisco: Nah. (they all turn back to eating) 

Tommy: Next order of business…who saw Trial and Error?


	33. Third time is the charm

Scene: Felicity and Thea are hanging out in the Cortex at Star Labs while waiting for test results on a mission in Central City with Cisco. 

Felicity: Strange things happen to us all the time, right? 

Cisco: (doesn’t look up from console) Sure it does. Like king shark. 

Thea: (bored in her chair) Or that time with the Witch…

Cisco: (looks up) Excuse me? 

Thea: (ticks off her fingers) The time with the bear… 

Felicity: (cringes) Roy told you about that? 

Thea: Tommy couldn’t stop talking about it. 

Cisco: What are these stories? 

Thea: Our long and rich friendship. Oh! Don’t forget the time that Stanley’s Tacos gave you a standing ovation. 

Cisco: My first question is, “Stanley’s Tacos”? What kind of name is that? 

Thea: They love Felicity. 

Felicity: And Stan is the Man. Don’t be a jerk.

Cisco: (raises arms placating) Why are you asking about strange occurrences anyway? He asks while in a superhero home base where the fastest man alive hangs his uniform. 

Felicity: I had a dream last night about Bradley James. Nothing happened. It was just a blank screen but I’d been saying his name in my head. It was really strange. 

Cisco: Very beetle juice. Try saying his name three times. 

Thea: I wouldn’t put it past us. He may just show up in your bedroom magically. 

THE NEXT DAY

Thea: (calls playfully walking through the door while rummaging through her bag) Did it work out last night? 

Felicity: You tell me. 

Bradley James: Did what work out? 

Thea: (purse falls to the floor forgotten)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly had this dream. Starlightoffandoms can vouch for me. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. 
> 
> Sadly, he didn't show up like beetle juice.


	34. Things I'd do part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next brunch holds a similar conversation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXTREME SPOILERS FOR PRISON BREAK AHEAD
> 
> Proceed at your own risk ;)

Scene: Teams Arrow and Flash all gather to unwind once a month. In the backyard at Oliver and Felicity’s house for Sunday brunch.

Tommy: (sips his coffee casually) Did you guys see Prison Break last night?

Felicity: (drops the fork full of quiche halfway from her mouth) Did I!

Oliver: (rolls his eyes) Damn it Tommy.

Thea: What’d you think? I loved it. Kept me on my toes the whole episode. 

Cisco: (around a mouthful of bagel) Amen. I finally under stand Michael’s motives. And after they left with that cliffhanger of him double crossing that terrorist leader, my boy really came through. 

Tommy: Of all the people to think was crooked… Paul! Paul is the best! 

Felicity: (sniffles sadly) Was. Paul was the best. His character has always been dynamic. You can never tell which side of the fence Paul is sitting on. 

Cisco: (takes a sip of orange juice) Now he’s under the fence. 

Felicity: And! (she shouts, her fork pointing at Cisco enthusiastically) what about Poseidon? A rogue agent that nobody has ever seemed to pinpoint. Then T-bag finds him! 

Oliver: (sips some coffee) Not to mention he’s Sara’s new husband. 

Roy: She sure can pick them. 

Barry: That’s what I was thinking. But I was worried about that kid the whole time. During the prison riot he was getting smashed up (grabs Len’s hand under the table). 

Tommy: Me too. They had just double crossed that terrorist. Then he was the only one who could guarantee their escape.

Oliver: Sorry, hold on. I have to mention the shirt thing again. 

Felicity: Lincoln has an inability to wear appropriate shirts. I don’t know what it is about Dominic. 

Tommy: But damn, that man’s body. 

Iris: (sighs dreamily)The things I’d do with Dominic Purcell. 

Eddie: That we’d do (winks at Iris) 

Cisco: Damn, son. You mean business, look at that smirk. 

Barry: I can’t even voice what I’d do. 

Quentin: This seems much less innocent than what you’d all do with Wentworth. 

Thea: Quentin, do you watch the show? Lincoln is the steamy one night stand you have that develops into a deep rooted friendship. Michael is the best friend who becomes your lover over time. 

Len: (silently looks back at Barry drinking coffee) Were you thinking about Dominic last night? 

Cisco: You’ve been caught! 

Barry: (splutters) Wha…how… w-why would you… say that… ?

Thea: (smirking) Way to play it cool Bear. 

Tommy: Next order of business people…who saw the finale for Trial and Error?


	35. I need your help with something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Person A: I need your help with something.
> 
> Person B: Anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, just me writing some stuff. Hope you like it.

All scenes are Person A: I need your help with something. Person B: Anything.

 

Tommy: (rushes into the kitchen wearing only boxers) I need your help with something!

Felicity: (drops her files onto the table immediately) Anything.

Tommy: (turns his head to the left listening to a deafening roar) Hide me.

Felicity: (immediately standing) Get under the sink.

As the cabinet door closes Oliver bursts through the back door.

Oliver: (dripping with pink shaving cream) Where is he?

Felicity: (sips her coffee) Who?

***** *****

Thea: (shuffles into the bar) I need your help. 

Diggle: (puts down his beer) Anything.

Thea: (lifelessly falls onto the counter) Carry me home? I can’t stand anymore.

Diggle: .. 

Thea: oomph. Bridal hold, I like your style. 

Diggle: Call it practice for your wedding day.

Thea: What are the chances Roy is this built? Doesn’t matter. I’m just going to sleep here while you walk.

***** *****

Barry: (answers phone without checking the caller id) Hello?

Cisco: (whispers over the line) I need your help with something.

Barry: Anything.

Cisco: Can you flash me some condoms? I’m at Lisa’s house.

Barry: What does it say about me that I don’t need to ask your size? 

Cisco: That you’re the best friend—

Hartley: (slightly out of range) Why does he know your size?

Barry: Is Hartley with you two?

Cisco: Don’t tell me how to live my life!

Lisa: (faintly calls out) I’m starting without you boys!

Cisco: Barry, please—

Barry: I’m hanging up now, they’re outside the front door. You’re welcome.

Cisco: Thanks! Don’t tell your boyfriend, bye!

***** *****

Felicity: (briskly walks into the bar, sits on a stool) I need your help with something. (Raises her hand in gesture) Beer, please.

Len: (doesn’t turn to look at her) Anything.

Felicity: I need someone to disappear. 

Len: Name.

Felicity: Barry Allen. 

Len: (finally turns) I know him. When.

Felicity: (looks over her poised bottle) tomorrow. From 2:00 to 15:00 I need him gone.

Len: (throws down a few bills, standing) Consider it done. 

The next afternoon at Oliver and Felicity's house. 

Barry: (stumbling into the room) Oh my gosh… guys! You didn’t have to!

Len: (wraps his arm around Barry’s shoulders) Happy Birthday Scarlet.

***** ***** 

Caitlin: I need your help with something.

Mick: (pauses his workout on the time ship) Anything.

Caitlin: (shuffles from foot to foot nervously) My mother is gracing me with her presence for thanksgiving this year and I was hoping you would be my date? 

Mick: (looks over the top of his Gatorade) Me?

Caitlin: Well, yeah. I enjoy your company and I know that I’m less likely to kill her if I have to climb over you to get to her…

Mick: If you wanted to climb me, there’s no need for excuses (he winks)

Caitlin: (smiles) I suppose we’ll see how well you keep me out of jail. Just in case, dinner is at 8 so come by around 6. 

Mick: It’s a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well..? Thanks for reading!


	36. Thus, I die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE: In no way am I attempting to make light of any social injustices that may be taking place. Okay, you may continue.

Scene: Oliver’s birthday is vast approaching. To show their love and loyalty to him everyone takes part in a film adaptation of a short story he’d written in the past.

Xxx xxX

Felicity: I know (wheezing breath) I haven’t said this (another heavy breath) before, but thank you. I can’t leave without telling you how much I value our friendship.

Tommy: Don’t. Please don’t speak that way. (Tears well in his eyes) You can’t leave. 

Felicity: (holds his arm tightly) Just… please just hold me. 

Tommy: …

Felicity: Whoa! Whoa, what are you doing?

Thea: Cut! Come on guys.

Tommy: The next line says to kiss. See? Right here. I highlighted all the kisses in green. Cause they’re the money shots of the PG world.

Felicity: Well I’ll be damned. Feisty writers. 

Tommy: Oliver wrote it in 10th grade. 

Thea: (behind the camera) He was a gentle soul then.

Diggle: Can we please continue? I want to shoot my scene before my pants chafe even more.

Felicity: Stop complaining. Your hot pants look sexy. 

Diggle: Don’t wink at me. I’m not a piece of meat!

Tommy: That’s not what you said when I gave you a love tap earlier.

Diggle: New rule. No one winks at me. Or pinches my ass.

Roy: I’m feeling unsafe in this hostile environment. I’m calling HR! 

Felicity: Tell him I say hi! 

Roy: (on the phone) Hi Hartley, I need you to listen to some grievances. Oh, and Felicity says hi. (Leans away from the phone) He says hi back. 

Thea: Reset people. And lets start from Arthur dying. Right before the gentle kiss. Leave it chaste because he’s dying and also because Oliver will kill you regardless of this sweet gift. 

Tommy: I don’t know. Sounds kinky to me. 

Roy: (on phone) He’s doing it again!

Tommy: Wait. Did you say Arthur? I don’t remember that in the script. 

Thea: I may have tweaked it a bit to match my Merthur fanfic. To make it a little more cinematographically more dynamic.

Roy: It’s really the best fandom. 

Tommy: Are you fucking kidding me right now. You made me Merlin! Why can’t I be Arthur?

Felicity: Think about what you’ve just said. While you wheedle that out in your mind, let’s finish this scene so Digg can get out of those pants. 

Thea: You might say he could finally take it off! 

Roy: Only I can take them off for you Thea. 

Xxx xxX

Felicity: Nooo. Come back.

Tommy: I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m untying your shoe.

Felicity: Why can’t I see you? Where are you? 

Tommy: I’m at your foot. Do you feel this?

Felicity: Oh, there you are. 

Tommy: You’re never allowed to drink again. 

Felicity: Matt, why didn’t you trust me with your secret? I’m… I’m a good friend. I love you no matter what, you rascal. 

Tommy: Cut! Rascal? Is that something I’m supposed to believe she says while drunk?

Felicity: It’s on the page. Didn’t I seem believable? I’d go so far as to say rapscallion.

Roy: I’m starting to think that you are Oliver’s fantasy woman. 

Diggle: I think we all knew that much. He married her.

Roy: No, think about it. He wrote this in high school. The female role sounds exactly like Felicity. Ergo, he was in love with Felicity before he ever knew she was a real person.

Thea: Son of a bitch. You’re right. 

Tommy: Fine, leave in rascal. If that’s what Ollie wants then it is what he gets. Carry on mi’lady.

Xxx xxX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts will be fulfilled as given. So, give them up people.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!


End file.
